Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry: A SICK MARRIAGE & ITS CURE - BY DR. HESPEY

Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry: A SICK MARRIAGE & ITS CURE - BY DR. HESPEY: A SICK MARRIAGE & ITS CURE WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY The Thought Of Something Falling Sick And The Need For Revival Came To My Mind. As A...

Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry: THE UNTERMINATED PREGNANCY - BY DR. HESPEY

Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry: THE UNTERMINATED PREGNANCY - BY DR. HESPEY: A SHORT STORY & A LESSON FOR SINGLE GUYS/LADIES THE UNTERMINATED PREGNANCY WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY It All Started About 3 Decades Ago....

THE BEST GIFT FROM A DAD - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY.

THE BEST GIFT FROM A DAD.

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

Few Months Back, I Recall Listening To A Muslim Scholar’s Ministration. This Ministration Talks About A Father Who Call Up All His Children To Question Them About What He Had Best Done For Them As A Father.

The First Child Said “father, You Gave Us Good Education.” The Father Responded By Saying “yes, But That Wasn’t My Best.”

The Second Child Said “oh Father, You Gave Us Good Morals.” The Father Still Replied With “yes, But It Still Not My Best.”

Another One Said “father, We Never Lack Anything In All Ramifications.” The Father Said “yes, But This Wasn’t Still My Best For You All.

Then With Curiosity, The Last Child Said “father, They Taught Us That Our Best Days Are Usually Ahead Of Us Not Behind Us. But Since You Claim Yours Is Behind You, What Then Was The Best Thing You Ever Did For Us?”

The Father Responded By Saying “yes, It Was My Best And It’s Behind Me, But It’s Serving You Till This Very Moment. The Best Thing I Ever Did For You All Was That Before You Were Born, I Choose A Good Woman (Mother) For You.”

MESSAGE:

Just As You Are Shock Right Now On Hearing This From A Man, So Was I When I First Listened To That Ministration From An Intelligent Muslim Scholar.

In Relationship And Marriage, You Seriously Need To Know That Your Choice Of Man Or Woman Is A Big Determinant Factor On The Kind Of Home You’re Going To Build. The Choice Of A Partner Will Surely Affect The Quality Of The Home You Build.

What Manner Of Woman Are You Toasting As A Guy? What Manner Of Man Are You Going Out With As A Lady?

My Life As Case Study, I Can Tell That I Got This Best Gift From My Dad As Well, He Got For Himself And For Us A Woman Who Led Us To Throne Of Mercy, A Woman Who Mumbles Every Morning Like She Was Out Of Her Mind.

I Could Recall There Was A Time I Questioned Her For Mumbling, She Said “son, This Kind Of Prayer Is What Saved My Life. You Really Need To Try It Sometime.”

In Real Sense, She Was A Communicator With Christ.

She Usually Drag Me To Church, Especially The Mid-week Programs. And She Did Something That I Detested Back Then.

In The Baptist Setting, The Children (Age 2 - 10) Department Known As “the Sunbeam” Is Usually Being Coordinated By The WMU (Women Missionary Union) Of Which Mum As A Woman Belong To. I Could Remember Most Of The Time, This Woman Would Voluntarily Bring Me A Task From Church Without My Consent. There Was This Year She Got Home On A Saturday Night Only To Hand Me Over A List Of Bible Verses To Be Memorized And Read The Following Day In The Church Full Of Its Members.

All These Got Me Running, I Was Like “mum, Why?” Her Response Was “hey Son, One Day You’ll Thank Me For Having God In Your Life.”

And Yea, She Was Right, Because Right Now, I’m Talking To Jesus, And It was Her Who Got Me Talking To Jesus.

Dad’s Choice Of Woman Got Me The Life That A Lot Of People Are Praising Right Now. His Choice Of A Good Woman Make Me Who I Am Growing To Become.

What Do You Think Would Have Become Of Me If Dad Had Settle For Something Less? What Do You Think Would Have Become Of Me If He Had Married The Wrong Woman? What Exactly Would I Have Turn Out To Become If He Had Chosen A Woman Who Didn’t Know Who Christ Is?

CONCLUSION:

There Is A Wrong Way To Do This, But There Is No Bad Time To Start. You Can Start Now, Start Thinking Of Best Gift For Your Unborn Kids. Woo The Right Woman As A Guy, Accept The Right Man Into Your Life As A Lady. Settle Not For What Just Fits You But Won’t Fit Well For Your Unborn Children. Ensure What Fits You, Will Equally Fit Your Children Well.

Settle For What Is Right, Because This Is A Major Determinant Factor Of The Kind Of Children You Will Raise. It Is A Major Determinant Factor Of The Kind Of Society We Create As Families.

Remember That Choosing The Right Man Or Woman Is Only Possible With God On The Throne. It Doesn’t Matter How Far You Go In Search Of Him Or Her, Just Let God Be The Foundation Of Your Search.

Thanks for reading!!! If this blessed you, share to bless others! To read more from us, visit: Www.drhezpey.wordPress.com or Www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or Www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

    DR. HESPEY (2021)

THE UNDERSIZED BOOT - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

THE UNDERSIZED BOOT: PERSPECTIVE FROM THE FOOTBALLER.

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY 

INTRODUCTORY PART:

For those that are a bit familiar with the life of a footballer, we know it's a life that works to perfection only when it possess the right tools & mindset.

Solomon as a footballer just got a new pair of boot. This new pair of boot is costly, beautiful & possesses a quality material, but with a defect of being an undersized one for solomon.

Solomon, seeing this pair of boot as the most quality one he has ever seen, so he couldn't let go of the fact that it's not for him. He tried forcing things, but this didn't go well with him.

First, everything Solomon did with this pair of boot on him, never went well, just because the boot on him wasn't compatible with his legs. He was never productive & in the end, he got hurt, on removing the boots, his feet were already bloodheaded & black due to the force received from an undersized boot.

MESSAGE:

Bringing this perspective to our relationship life, most times we tend to force things, maybe because he/she is handsome, beautiful, rich, maybe because they possess some qualities we thought we would never come across from someone else or maybe because we are getting stuck.

All these are nice, but in real sense, like Solomon who had the same mindset, we are being hopeless & faithless.

When someone isn't meant for you, it doesn't matter the effort you dip into it, it's just not gonna work, Just because you deserve someone better. Settling for them may not be God's plan for you. Settling there may be less than His plans.

I have seen God use both the bad & the good circumstances to put us in our right mind.

I have seen someone holding on to what's not meant to be, but God uses such to hurt him so badly until he was strong enough to let it go.

I have seen the same God using bad leaders as instruments of hardship just to pull people back to the right lane.

Don't wait until that undersized boot in your life start serving as a means of hardship.

Before it causes you more harm like the undersized boots of Solomon, you got to let it go. You deserve to be happy & productive. But this can only happen when you're with the right tools in your hands.

CONCLUSION:

Solomon became productive after he let go of the mindset that the boot was the best type he could ever get. He came across a better one which makes him more unique & fruitful in his career.

Like Solomon, brothers & sisters: that relationship may be the undersized boot in your life. The partner may be the wrong one for you.

Craving for something beautiful, handsome, equipped, quality or for love doesn't have to be at the expense of your happiness. Let it go, God's got the best in store.

Thanks for reading!!! If this blessed you, share to bless others! To read more from us, visit: Www.drhezpey.wordPress.com or Www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or Www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquiries/counsellings/invitations/sponsorship/partnership: 09079970736 (WHATSAPP) 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

    DR. HESPEY (2021)

LOVE OR INFATUATION? - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INFATUATION OR LOVE?

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

Love and infatuation has been recorded to be a major part in the causes of most broken relationships, which brings about being used, being dumped, heartbreaks & lots more. Here today, we will be looking at how to categorize & line out the major differences between these two words. And furthermore more, we will answer and explain some questions in full details.

DEFINITION:

But first, let's begin with some definitions: The Merriam-Webster dictionary's definitions of love and infatuation are very much simple, understandable & well defined: first, it says: LOVE Is "A Warm Attachment, Enthusiasm, Or Devotion To Another Person," while INFATUATION on the other hand is "a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something."

Basically, love is a deep, committed attachment to someone, while infatuation is a shallow-imagination of love.

Now one of the questions that is likely to cross your mind as you read is: What then are the signs of love and infatuation?

In real sense and in medical, we believe that whatsoever happens must have come with diverse of signs or symptoms. One of the major sign of infatuation is that it tends to happen at the beginning of relationships. It is usually marked by a sense of excitement and great happiness, and it's often accompanied by lust and a feeling of newness, elation and rapid expansion with a person.

Now to the most common signs: to a counsellor like us, if you're the type that feels obsessive, irrationally excited, and, the worst, really horny, then you're probably in the infatuation phase of love. Infatuation in its occurrence mostly makes you feel great, in fact, you may also feel slightly insecure because things are so new and they aren't real.

But my dear, when it is love, there's a bond in there, there's a commitment, there's a connection (whether physical or spiritual). Love tends to be something that is in form of a construction process, it takes place over a long period of time, where you commence with a foundation laying, a process where you commence getting to know somebody and you're building a connection. It is a process where you try creating an emotional safety, and you're able to portray an act that shows you can be easily hurt or harmed and open to attack with the person involved.

When you love someone, you know personal details about them, even their worst past or present (whether hearing it from the person or finding it out yourself) and you still feel safe staying and being open about yourself as well, But, love and infatuation are not mutually exclusive, because most people in a relationship are infatuated with their partners to a certain degree (once the limit is reached, then it opens that they aren't in love).

Now the next question that is likely to cross your mind at this point is: Is infatuation constructive or destructive?

To my knowledge base on this counselling career so far, infatuation in most cases is sometimes constructive when it receive a second wave, and on the other hand, it is destructive when it's being declined." Basically, if you and your partner both have the new relationship on a higher level, that's great! But if you're dealing with love that's not being returned, you should probably let it go, it signifies infatuation.

Times without number, the question as to whether infatuation later turning out to love is possible has been asked.

From the above paragraph, infatuation phase can actually change and turn into a loving, committed, dedicated and long-lasting relationship, but the time frame and probability for such occurrence is never to be predicted. Now the real deal is that, when you're in love with somebody or infatuated with somebody, you stop seeking others and you focus just on that person. Only time will tell really if infatuation will develop into a long-term attachment and sense of love.

CONCLUSION:

However, if you later discover that you've been in an infatuated relationship and you're sure that God is still leading you there, there are certain things we can actually recommend that you should do to strengthen your relationship and move it from the destructive phase to a constructive phase.

Firstly, give your relationship some time, like I said in the above paragraph, it's probability & occurrence is unpredictable, things won't happen overnight.

Secondly, Communication is always important in a relationship, and so is knowing when to reach a concession. But overall, a sense of commitment, dedication, selflessness and willingness to the relationship is what will create the attachment needed to fall in love and get it moving rightly.

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If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

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or

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

    DR. HESPEY

YOUR GAIN AFTER AN ABORTION - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

YOUR GAIN AFTER AN ABORTION

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

It occurs to me that knowing the truth isn't the same as implementing the truth already known. Many ladies know abstinence until marriage to be the best option, but the act of sexual indulgence is being practice because abortion exist in their dictionary.

Abortion as generally known is the medical process (either by pill or surgery) of ending a pregnancy so it does not result in the birth of a baby.

Research has just shed more light on the disadvantages of having an abortion and what you stand to gain after its indulgence.

According to The Foundation for Africa Cultural Heritage, CANCER is now one of the risks associated with undergoing an abortion.

According to FACH president, Dr. Nkechi Asogwa, many cases of breast cancer have been linked to the aftermath of an abortion.

According to her:

“When you terminate a pregnancy you end many ongoing processes in the body such as the preparation of breast for the secretion of milk. So the tissues that were cut off suddenly would become fragile and they can trigger the formation of cancerous cells in the breast.

Side effects may occur with induced abortion, whether surgical or by pill.

MEDICAL IMPACT OF ABORTION:

These side effects include the followings: abdominal pain and cramping, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.

Abortion also carries the risk of significant complications such as bleeding, infection, and damage to organs. Enquiries shows that serious complications occur in less than 1 out of 100 early abortions and in about 1 out of every 50 later abortions. Those serious Complications may include:

Heavy Bleeding, Infection, Incomplete Abortion (leading to more complications as far as sonography is concern), Damage to the Cervix, Scarring of the Uterine Lining, Perforation of the Uterus and in the end Damage to Internal Organs or Death.

EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF ABORTION:

There is evidence that abortion is associated with a decrease in both emotional and physical health. For some women these negative emotions may be very strong, and can appear within days or after many years. This psychological response is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

symptoms that may likely show up after this process includes:

1. Eating disorders.

2. Relationship problems.

3. Guilt.

4. Depression

5.Flashbacks of abortion.

6. Suicidal thoughts.

7. Sexual dysfunction &

8. Spiritual Consequences.

In real sense, today's article isn't coming to scare you, but to give you an insight of how to make the right decision.

In every of the aforementioned impacts of Abortion, no effect relating to whichever guy you had sex with is involved. Then think about it, who loses in the end?

Stay safe and help yourself to be healthy and enjoy life.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

    DR. HESPEY

DARLING SISTERS: GOD IS SAYING, "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

DARLING SISTERS: GOD IS SAYING, "YOU ARE NOT ALONE"

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

Recovering from sexual assault takes time, and the healing process can be painful. But dear sisters, you can regain your sense of control, earn more value, rebuild your self-worth, and learn to get healed.

MAJOR LESSONS:

Regardless of age or gender, the impact of sexual violence goes far beyond any physical injuries. The trauma of being raped or sexually assaulted can be shattering, leaving you feeling scared, ashamed, and alone or plagued by nightmares, memories, and other unpleasant memories. The world doesn’t feel like a safe place anymore. You no longer trust others. You don’t even trust yourself. You may question your judgment, your self-worth, and even your sanity. You may blame yourself for what happened or believe that you’re “dirty” or “damaged goods.” The trauma of being raped sometimes make relationships feel dangerous & it in turn in most cases makes intimacy impossible. And on top of that, like many rape survivors, you may struggle with PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

I need to let you know that what you’re experiencing is a normal reaction to trauma. Your feelings of helplessness, shame, defectiveness, and self-blame are symptoms, not reality. No matter how difficult it may seem, with these article, you can come to terms with what happened, regain your sense of safety and trust, and learn to heal and proceed.

CONSOLATION MESSAGE:

Being raped is a worst crime, but nonetheless, it doesn't worth ending your life because of its shame, agony & what have you.

My message to you today is simple, God hasn't been silent over your case, He is telling to tell you these:

- KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE:

Psalm 9:9 promises us that “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”

What happened to you wasn't at your will, you were held & assaulted. But Your pain, fear, anger, and sadness are not too much for God. God still loves you today just as much as He did the day He created you. God sees you in your pain and grieves with you, just like He does for all of His children.

After being physically and emotionally abused, a woman named Hagar finally decided she couldn’t take it anymore. She runs away, but in Genesis 16, an angel of the Lord meets her along the road and tells her that her story isn’t over. “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me’” (Genesis 16:13).

God wants to comfort you and heal you, even if you’re angry at Him. If you’re mad at God, tell Him. He can take it. Pour out all your emotions. Don’t hold anything back. God will meet you in your pain. Just like He promises in Psalm 147:3, “[The Lord] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

- BELIEVE IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT:

It can be easy to think, Well, maybe I should have done this or that, then this wouldn’t have happened. 

Your mode of dressing actually isn't the major cause of it. Though what you wear actually matter, but it doesn't matter what you were doing. Rape and sexual assault are never your fault. Even if your attacker says, “You made me do it,” it’s not your fault.

At the time when God wrote the first rules for His people, women were considered a man’s property. God’s laws set Israel apart from its neighboring countries by elevating a woman’s status and protecting her. The punishment for rape was death for the rapist. The punishment for adultery was death of both parties involved, but God makes a distinction for rape: “Only the man who has done this shall die. Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death” (Deuteronomy 22:25-26).

Nothing you can do would ever make rape or assault your fault, God already made that clear in His laws from the beginning. You did not deserve it. Rape is a sin, but it’s not your sin; it’s the sin of the person who harmed you against your will. 

- BELIEVE YOU ARE STILL VALUABLE:

Rape victim is not who you are. You are a son or daughter of the God who made the universe. 

Your value comes from God not from the act. He created you, and He is the only one who can define you. You are not dirty or used up. You were fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God (Psalm 139).

God proved His love for you and your value to Him by sending His Son to earth to remove the sin gap between God and His people once and for all. Just consider the beginning of one of the most famous verses in the Bible, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).  

If you have never asked Jesus into your life, reading this, let Him meet you where you are right now. Through Jesus, we’re able to have a relationship with God, which comes with some incredible benefits which comprises of hope and healing for today and forever. 

- YOU ARE STILL IN A SAFE PLACE:

Being rapes in the church or mosque doesn't signify that the place isn't a place of refuge anymore. It doesn't say God has failed us. Sometimes, we feel like we have to get our stuff together before we can come to church. But one way God speaks to us, heals us and comforts us is through His people. When you’ve experienced a trauma like rape, you need to connect with other Christians who love you and will walk through this with you with trust. 

Healing happens as we bring the dark parts of our past into the light. One of Jesus’ close friends, John, describes how this works, writing, “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:5-7).

When we keep what was done to us to ourselves, we give the hurt, the pain, and the shame the perfect place to grow, taking over our hearts like mold spores multiplying in darkness. To move forward requires us to open the door to our hearts, allowing Jesus and others to shed light on the sins committed against us and the lies we believed about them.

BRIEFED WAYS OUT OF THE TRAUMA:

1. Discussing The Rape Incidence With Someone Trustworthy.

2. Assure Yourself That It's Not Your Fault.

3. Don't Beat Yourself So Hard Over Its Remembrance.

4. Bring Your Soul Back To Life By Being Strong Again.

5. Enjoin Yourself In The Circle Of Most Trusted Ones.

6. Breed Yourself Not To Be Breed.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, bless others by sharing.

To read more from us, visit:

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Www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or

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For enquiries/counsellings/invitations/sponsorship/partnership:

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

    DR. HESPEY

RAPE: THE INHUMANE ACT & OUR RESPONSIBILITIES - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

RAPE: THE INHUMANE ACT & OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

Rape as it is known by sensible ones is an illegal act of sexual intercourse with an individual without his or her consent, it can either be via force or the threat of force.

In many jurisdictions, the crime of rape has been considered to be an act of sexual assault, which also encompasses acts that fall short of intercourse.

Rape was long considered to be caused by uncontrolled sexual desire, but it is now understood as a pathological assertion of power over a victim.

BIBLICAL INSIGHTS:

It is very glaring that the Bible never covers up neither does it ignores sexual assault. In the real fact, biblical law shows how the Lord takes up the cause of the victim and the vulnerable. The book of Deuteronomy 22:25-27 safeguarded the survivor of sexual assault from being unjustly blamed or ignored. In ancient Israel, this law established a pattern, an ethical framework by which God’s people could discern specific situations that it didn’t specifically address. And like all of God’s laws, it reveals his characters.

The two rape case I will like to refer to in the Bible are that of The Unnamed Concubine in Judges 19, and Tamar in 2 Samuel 13.

Biblical law was revolutionary for the dignity of women. The Scripture we read recognized rape as a violent crime. In fact, biblical law considers rape in the same vein with murder. In this case, a rape victim was the non-consenting victim of premeditated violence. The attacker alone is held guilty. Because she was overpowered and did not consent and this make the victim to be considered blameless.

Consent is the key factor here. Many women who have been assaulted share how they froze during the attack. They couldn’t move. They couldn’t even scream. And they didn’t even understand why. In the aftermath, they wonder if they did something wrong. I believe this passage of Scripture comes to their defense. The issue was not how the woman expressed her lack of consent. The issue was that she did not consent. She was overpowered, exploited, and unwilling. And, according to the principle expressed in this law, she was innocent.

OUR RESPONSIBILITIES:

For the Israelite woman who was raped, this text ensured that she was heard, that She was believed and given justice. These laws created an environment in which a survivor of assault already knew that she would be safe and protected by the community. In our own communities, this should reinforce our responsibility to treat accusations of rape as credible.

God was not silent about rape. He defended the woman who had been sexually assaulted. He believed and protected her. And so must we.

Don't be silent as parents & guardians, teaching your girl-child ways by which she can avoid being a victim is not enough. Teach your male-child to learn to value women. Teach them to be considerate by putting their sisters into the shoe of whoever has been raped. Let them know it's just a few minutes fun to them, but a lifelong agony to the victim. And most importantly, let them know what God require of them. Make them shun sexual assaults at all cost.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more from us, visit:

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2020)

PREMARITAL SEX: THE BODY DOWNGRADER - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

PREMARITAL SEX: THE BODY DOWNGRADER

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:
Shayo, A Young Talented Lady Was In A State Of Confusion About Certain Things In Her Life When She Started The University. Shayo Is Very Attractive, And Young Men Invites Her Out On Many Occasions. She Soon Discovered That Most Of Them Expected Intercourse In Exchange For Just A Date. But Shayo Is A Christian, Who Doesn’t Believe In Casual Sleeping Around And She Felt Isolated And Lonely.
Was Shayo Wrong To Have Stick To Her Christian Principles? How Long Can She Cope With Being The Only Girl On Her Corridor Who Isn’t Sleeping With Her Boyfriend? What Will Happen When She Finds Herself Overwhelmed By Sexual Desire?

As A Student Of The Best State University In Nigeria, Some Student Known To Me Found Themselves Equally Baffled. Most Of Their Colleagues, Too, Paired Off And Slept Together. Some Lived Together. Should These Young & Single Adults Similarly Indulge In Free Sex? Some Did And They Felt Guilty. Others Abstained And Exposed Themselves To Cruel Jibes. “You Are Wet.” “Are You A Lesbian?”
Such Taunts Sting. This Hurt Prompted Them To Organize A Campaign In Which They Invited Us To Examine These Pressing Questions.
1. “Is Sex Before Marriage All Right? If Not, What Biblical Teaching Is There?”
2. “Is There Anything Wrong With Sleeping Around?”
3. “Does Sleeping Around Really Downgrade Its Victim?”

Major Lessons:
Sleeping Around As A Teenager Or Youth Who Isn’t Married (Including Committing Adultery) Is An Insult To Your Body Because You Are Not A Toy, A Thing To Be Used, Played With And Discarded. Your Body Is A Part Of The Glory Of God’s Creation, Stamped With His Hallmark, With Dignity And Honour.
Moreover, Your Body Is A Temple Of The Holy Spirit, The Place Where Jesus Resides, Which Is Sacred For His Use. Can A Christian Therefore Contemplate Involving The Indwelling Spirit In A Disposable, Incomplete, Shallow Sexual Relationship? Isn’t It Unthinkable?
It Is Unthinkable Until You Find Yourself Powerfully Drawn To A Person Of The Opposite Sex. Then What? What If The Desire To Give Your Body To Another Is Strong? Paul’s Response To That Problem Is The Reminder That “You Are Not Your Own Property, You Have Been Bought And Paid For”.
Our Bodies Are Not Ours To Prostitute. They Have Been Purchased By Christ’s Sacrifice On The Cross Of Calvary. For What Purpose? “God Did Not Call Us To Live In Immorality, But In Holiness” Just As Found In The Book Of (1 Thessalonians 4:7).

When You Are Tempted To Sleep With Your Partner Before You Are Married, Will You Remind Yourself That To Do So Would Be To Defile Your Body, God’s Property & To Act Contrary To God’s Love?
Sexual Intercourse Seals The Permanent Union Contracted Between Husband And Wife. It Illustrates, In A Physical, Biological Way, The Unity To Which They Have Committed Themselves Socially, Spiritually, Emotionally, In Relationship To One Another And The Community.
It Is Also Symbolic Of The Eternal Union Which Exists Between Christ And The Church. Are You Prepared To Mock This Rich Symbolism By Indulging In The One-night Stand, Casual Sex, Intercourse As A Thank-you For A Happy Evening? You May Try, But If You Do You Attempt The Impossible.
As Paul Emphasizes In 1 Corinthians 6:15, Sexual Intercourse Unites Persons In A Deep, Inextricable, Irrevocable Union. There Is, Therefore, No Such Thing As Casual Sex. Even If You “Use” A Prostitute, You Become One With Her.

Thanks For Reading!!!
If This Blesses You, Share To Bless Others!!!
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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL
     DR. HESPEY

RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:
Myself As A Counsellor, I Have Gone Through So Persecution All In The Name Preaching And Teaching About Sexual Abstinence. I Could Remember A Statement That Came From A Friend Back Then During My First Year In The University, He Said "HESPEY, ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN'T A CASTRATED BEING?"
From Merriam Webster Dictionary, To Be Castrated Means To Be Rendered Impotent Or Deprive Of Vitality Especially By Psychological Means. But The Truth Is, I Am Not Castrated.
As Mammals, I Know We All Have Similar Carnal Desires. But, As Humans Created Of God, We Have The Ability To Choose Whether To Pursue Our Urges Or Decline Them. When We Succumb To Temptation It’s Because Our Desire To Indulge Is Greater Than Our Desire To Resist. We Choose What We Do.
We Are Biologically Driven To Pair And Bond For Life. But, I Don’t Believe Monogamy Is Such A Genetic Gift. Monogamy Is A Vow You Make With Your Partner And God. The Biological Urge To Reproduce Has Brought Us To This Point Regarding Population And Promiscuity. That Drive Is So Strong It Has Undermined Some Of The Most Successful People That Walked This Planet. So Here Today, We Bring You Ways By Which You Can Be A Good Decision Maker Regards Sexual Abstinence.

WAYS IN RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX:

Commitment Is A Discipline A Good Man Possesses. Here Is Guidance To Assist Anyone Who May Have An Urge They Would Rather Not Entertain Because Of Fidelity, Love, And Vows.

- DISCIPLINE:
To Some, This Looks Harmful? But Let Me Tell You It's Not. This Is A Part Of The Fruit Of The Spirit As Mentioned In The Book Of Galatians 5:23 Known As Temperance Or Self Control.
Discipline Is Not Harmful. It Is Not The Same As Repression, Because It Doesn't Involve Force. Repression Harms People Because It Means Forcing Or Pushing Feelings Firmly Into The Subconscious, Then Living As Though The Feelings Do Not Exist. This Pretense Is Just For A While. These Feelings Will Spring Out Again, But In A Disguised Form. Clearly Repression Is Unhealthy.
Our Major Way Of Battling Premarital Sex Is By Being Disciplined Or Being Able To Control One's Urges. Discipline Never Involves Sweeping Feelings Into A Dark Corner. Discipline Is Seen When The Understanding Adults Listens To The Complaints Of Each Other, Interprets Them Accurately And Meets The Real Rather Than The Expressed Needs. In Other Words, When You And Your Partner Discipline Yourselves, You Listen To Your Own Feelings With Sensitivity But You Do Not Give In To Every Desire.
This Discipline Need Not To Be Mournful. It Can Be Exciting, For Instance, Deciding Not To Peep Inside Parcels Until Christmas Day.
This Discipline Is Healthy, Joyful, Balanced. It Adds Dignity To Yourself, Your Partner And Your Sexuality And Most Importantly, It Brings You Closer To God. And This Literarily Means You Are No Longer Enslaved By Sexual Desire. You Control It.

CONCLUSION:
God Does Not Ask You To Control It Alone. He Gives The Holy Spirit To Strengthen Our Moral Fibre When Resolve Is Weak. I Think This Is What Paul Implies In 1 Thessalonians 4:8. It Is Only The Indwelling Spirit Of Jesus Who Enables Us To Walk Unscathed Through The Heat Of Passionate Desire. He Is The One Who Cultivates The Patience We Need To Receive God's Gifts In God's Time, Including The Gift Of Sexual Fulfillment In Marriage.
He Is The One Who Produces The Self-control Which Dogged Determination On Its Own Fails To Produce. And He Is The One Who Causes The Fruit Of Gentleness, Kindness And Responsible Love To Grow Within Us; Those Qualities Which Refuse Us Permission To Abuse Our Own Body Or The Body Of Another.
When The Strength Of Sexual Desire Renders Us Helpless, It Casts Us Back On God's Unfailing Help. Then In Our Weakness We Become Strong. For Discipline Shot Through By The Grace Of God Results In Joyful Obedience, In Sexual Battles Won.

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CATEGORIES & LESSONS OF VIRGINITY - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

CATEGORIES & LESSONS OF VIRGINITY

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

DEFINITION:
A Virgin Is Someone Who’s Never Had Vagina Sex. But People Define “sex” And “losing Virginity” In Many Different Ways. A Virgin Is Someone Who Has Never Had Sex, But It’s Not Quite As Simple As It Seems. That’s Because Sex Means Different Things To Different People, So Virginity Can Mean Different Things, Too.
A Lot Of People Think That Having Penis-into-vagina Sex For The First Time Is How You Lose Your Virginity. But This Leaves Lots Of People And Other Types Of Sex Out Of The Picture. Some People Haven’t Had Penis-into-vagina Sex, But They’ve Had Other Kinds Of Sex (Like Oral Sex Or Anal Sex) And They May Or May Not See Themselves As Virgins. And There Are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Or Pansexual People Who May Never Have Penis-into-vagina Sex At All. But They Probably Don't See Themselves As Lifelong Virgins Just Because They Haven’t Had Penis-into-vagina Sex.
Many People Believe Rape And Sexual Assault Aren’t Sex, They Believe It’s Only Sex If Both Partners Have Consent. So If Someone Was Forced Or Pressured The First Time They Had Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Or Anal Sex, They May Not See That As “losing Their Virginity.”

The Definition Of Virginity Is Complicated, And It’s Really Up To You To Decide What You Believe. Some People Don't Even Care What “virginity” Means Or Think It Matters. Stressing About Whether You’re A Virgin Is Way Less Important Than How You Feel About Your Sexual Experiences. Ask Yourself: Are You Happy With The Sexual Experiences You've Had Or Decided Not To Have Or Will God Be Happy?

The Key Point In Our Article Today Is To Categorize Virginity and advice you on the best way to go about it.

- PRIMARY VIRGINITY:
This Is Also Known As Physical Or Natural Virginity. Here The Person Has Never Had Penis-into-vagina Sex. In Women, The Visible Evidence Of This Type Of Virginity Is The Bleeding That Occurs During First Intercourse Which Usually Leads To The Broken Hymen, Though Not In All
Cases Because Sex Is Not The Only Way Through
Which A Woman’s Hymen May Be Broken. It Is Actually The Breaking Of This Hymen At First Intercourse That Causes The Bleeding & Lose Of Virginity.
If A Woman, Therefore, Does Not Bleed At Her First
Intercourse, It Does Not Necessarily Mean That She Is Not A Virgin. A Girl’s Hymen, According To Bruce And Carol Britten (Answer For Your Marriage, 2001) May Break Without Sex, But During Sports, Or When She Uses Menstrual Tampon (A French Word For An Absorbent Plug Of Cotton Wool Inserted Into The Vagina During Menstruation). In Fact Some Girls Are Said To Be Born Without Hymen.

- SECONDARY VIRGINITY:
Secondary Virginity Otherwise Known As Moral
Virginity Is Different From Primary Virginity In The Sense That Physically The Person Is No More A Virgin Because He Or She Has Had Sex At Least Once, Either Freely By Choice Or Forcefully Through Sexual Abuse.
Choosing Sexual Abstinence After An Intentional Or Unintentional Penis-into-vagina Sex Is What Secondary Virginity Is All About.
This Type Of Virginity Is Also Known As Spiritual Or Decisive Virginity. ‘it Depicts,’ In The Words Of Kenneth Onyeme, ‘a Repentant And Purified Person’.

LESSONS:
Choosing To Have Sex For The First Time Is A Big Decision That’s Very Personal. People Think About Lots Of Different Things: Religious, Spiritual, And Moral Beliefs; Family And Personal Values; Desire; Love; And/Or Relationships. Whatever Your Reason Is, It's Important To Wait Until You're Sure You're Ready To Have Sex And The Best Time For That Is During Marriage On Your Marital Bed With Your Partner.
In My Counselling Career, I've Come Across Lots Of Teens Who've Had Sex That Says "They Wish They Had Waited".
If You’ve Already Started Having Sex And Want To Stop, That's Totally Okay, Just Because You've Had Sex Before Doesn't Mean You Have To Do It Again, And Just Because A Lot Of People Around You Are Doing It Doesn't Make It Right At All Time. People Can Be Sexually Abstinent (Not Have Sex) At Any Time, For Any Reason. And Some People Choose To Never Have Sex, That’s Totally Okay, Too.

CONCLUSION:
Try Not To Worry Too Much About What Other People Do. When You Lose Your Virginity Isn’t As Big A Deal As Making Sure You And Your Partner Are Ready For Sex. If You Have Sex Just To Fit In When You Aren't Married, It Probably Won’t Be A Very Good Experience Between You ,G Your Maker. It’s Better To Wait To Have Sex Until You Feel Totally Ready And Are Prepared For Some Of The Possible Consequences Of Sex Unwanted Pregnancy & Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

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THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

WHAT DOES VIRTUOUS WOMAN CONNOTES?

The ‘ESHET-CHAYIL’ is the Hebrew term for a virtuous woman or a woman of valor. ESHET is the word for woman, and CHAYIL is defined as valiant, strong or virtuous.
In Proverbs 31:10 (AMP) ESHET-CHAYIL is translated as “An excellent woman [one who is spiritual, capable, intelligent, and virtuous]…” This term ESHET-CHAYIL or, the virtuous woman, is only found in the Bible three times. (Ruth 3:11, Proverbs 12:4 & Proverbs 31)
Proverbs 31:30 of a virtuous Woman says: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”
Having known the definition of a virtuous woman, the truth is, becoming a Proverbs 31 kind of woman isn’t as hard as you think. In fact, Proverbs 31 is not a checklist or a to do list. Instead, it’s a beautiful representation of what it means to be a virtuous woman.

Now let's get to know how being a virtuous woman today is possible and my guess is that you are already well on your way to living out God’s purpose for your life. And that’s what Proverbs 31 is really about, that is, living with purpose.

Today, Often women believe that Proverbs 31 doesn’t really apply to our modern lives. But I believe that God’s Word stands the test of time, don’t you? God’s Word is still relevant today! These efficiency of the Proverbs 31 kind of Woman demonstrate how, as Christian women today, we can all be Proverbs 31 Women.
Now let's discuss a virtuous woman in relation to the followings:
- Faith
- Maritally
- Nurturing
- Dealings
- Prudence
- Home Building
- Time
- Decency

• In Faith: A Virtuous Woman serves God with all of her heart, mind, and soul. She seeks His will for her life and follows His ways just as found in (Proverbs 31:26, Proverbs 31:29–31, Matthew 22:37, John 14:15, Psalm 119:15).

• Maritally: A Virtuous Woman respects her husband. She does him good all the days of her life. She is trustworthy and a helpmate in relation to (Proverbs 31: l11-12, Proverbs 31:23, Proverbs 31:28, 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, Genesis 2:18)

• In Nurturing: A Virtuous Woman teaches
her children the ways of her Father in heaven. She nurtures her children with the love of Christ, disciplines them with care and wisdom, and trains them in the way they should go. (Proverbs 31:28, Proverbs 31:26, Proverbs 22:6, Deuteronomy 6, Luke 18:16) clarifies more.

• In Dealings: A Virtuous Woman deals with her husband, her family, her friends, and her neighbours with a gentleness and loving spirit. She is charitable, she never withhold her love for humanity. (Proverbs 31:12, Proverbs 31:15, Proverbs 31:20, 1 Corinthians 13:13)

• Prudence: A Virtuous Woman seeks her husband’s approval before making purchases and spends money wisely. She is necessarily not an accountant, but she is prudent & careful to purchase quality items which her family needs. (Proverbs 31:14,
Proverbs 31:16, Proverbs 31:18, 1 Timothy 6:10, Ephesians 5:23, Deuteronomy 14:22, Numbers 18:26)

• Homebuilding: A Virtuous Woman is a
homemaker. She creates an inviting atmosphere of
warmth and love for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her. (Proverbs 31:15, Proverbs 31:20–22, Proverbs 31:27, Titus 2:5, 1 Peter 4:9, Hebrews 13:2)

• Time: A Virtuous Woman uses her time wisely. She works diligently to complete her daily tasks. She does not spend time dwelling on those things that do not please the Lord. (Proverbs 31:13, Proverbs 31:19, Proverbs 31:27, Ecclesiastes 3, Proverbs 16:9,
Philippians 4:8)

• Decency: A Virtuous Woman is a woman of worth and beauty. She has the inner beauty that only comes
from Christ. She uses her creativity and sense of style
to create beauty in her life and the lives of her loved ones. Her way of life pleases the Lord at all time. (Proverbs 31:10, Proverbs 31:21–22, Proverbs 31:24-25, Isaiah 61:10,
1 Timothy 2:9, 1 Peter 3:1–6)

If we flip back a few pages in our Bible to Proverbs 9:10 we see that the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding”. This virtuous woman became the amazing woman she was because she knew and feared God.

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PREMARITAL SEX AS STABILITY ERASER - BY DR. HESPEY

PREMARITAL SEX AS STABILITY ERASER

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

Have You Ever Discovered Or Once Noticed How Premarital Sex Destabilize Its Victim?
I Am Writing This To Bring Certain Things To Daylight And Most Of My Pressure Will Be On My Ladies, Because To Be Frank With You Sisters, You Will & Always Be Badly Affected Mostly If You Practice Any Sort Of Premarital Activity.
Few Years Ago I Was On A Trip To A State For A Visitation & Counselling Unit. After This Counselling Unit, I Came Across An Issue Of A Teenage Lady Who Practice Premarital Sex With A Guy & She Took In (Which Means She Become Pregnant), She Then Took Multiple Steps To Get Rid Of It, But All Attempt Failed.
Due To This, She Find It Shameful To Carry This Pregnancy Around Or To Even Stay In The Midst Of Friends. In Her Doubted Solvable Issue, She Sees Fleeing As The Next Option Which Bring Instability To Her, The Guy That Impregnated Her & Their Parents.
Then This Inspirations Comes Within Me That I Have To Address 3 Sets Of People Due To This: (I) The Single Ladies, (II) The Single Guys & (III) All Parents (IV) Ministers.

DEAR SINGLE LADIES:
The Message They Will Never Tell You Before They Have Sex With You Is That It Will Take Away Your Stability & Replace It With SHAME & GUILT.
They Won't Tell You You AREN'T ONE YET, So When It Turns Back To You, They Are Free To & Can Flee, Leaving You With Your Burden.
My Dear, When Things Go Worse, They Can Still Go Ahead And Have Sex With Any Other Lady They See Around, Because You Aren't Theirs Yet And They Definitely Aren't Yours Either.
I Want To Urge You Ladies To Be Very Careful, Your Brain Is Meant To Be Used To Implement Issues Pertaining To Your Life. Use It Well, When You As A Lady Fail To Give Them Sex As They Expect Sex, And If Sexual Resistance Widely Practice, They Will Open Their Head And Make It Active.

DEAR SINGLE GUYS:
You May See Sleeping Around While Single As Fun & Pleasure Satisfier, But Let Me Tell You This, It Will Affect Your Life & Bring You Down No Matter Your Worth.
Many Don't Understand How Destiny Escorts Every Sexual Activities Done Premaritally. Premarital Sex Is Against God's Will, And Whoever Practice It Is Against God.
Being Godly Is The Best Key My Brother With Eternal Rewards & A Stable Life.

DEAR PARENTS:
Dear Parents, You All Need To Wake Up To The Responsibility Of Your Wards, They Are Your Heritages, Keeping Mute Or Watching Them Being Trained Outside Your Domain Is Dangerous, Every Training Needs To Start From You As Parents. And Remember, Your Wards Are Of God, Sent To You For Proper Care & Directions. When Things Go Wrong With Your Wards, You Won't Be Granted Peace As A Mother Or Father. So Why Not Prevent All This Sort Of Instability Before It Shows Up? Why Not Take Up Your Duty More Fervently Before God's Wrath Show Up On You For Not Treating Your Wards Right? Teach Them The Message Of Purity Indoor, Explain It To Them Or Get Them Counsel When Needed. Silence Kills. Its Your First Responsibility.

DEAR MINISTERS:

Your Failure To Teach, Preach Or Mention The Message Of Sex On The Pulpit Is Killing. Your Primary Responsibility As A Shepherd Is To Guide Your Sheep & Teach Them Ways By Which They Won't Go Astray.
Preach About Sex, Preach Its Positivity When Used As God's Too In Marriage, Preach About Its Negativity When Used Outside God's Will, Teach Them The Ways Of Having A Profitable Spiritual Life Through Sexual Abstinence.
Failure To Treat This As A Minister Gives Your Ministry A Very Big Question To Answer And Your Purpose Is Surely Not Fulfilled As A Minister If You Keep Having Members Falling Into Sexual Immortality Because You Refuse To Talk Of Sex.

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GIVING FITNESS TO YOUR MARRIAGE - BY DR. HESPEY

GIVING FITNESS TO YOUR MARRIAGE
THE CONCLUDING PART

ALWAYS EXPECT UPS AND DOWNS

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

Starting this, i will love to start with John 16:33 (NET), This passage states that: I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering, but take courage – I have conquered the world.”

Being a believer or not doesn’t really stop tribulations & troubles, this is why It’s important to recognise that there are ups and downs in every relationship.
As a member of Lautech’s class of 21, an issue came up in my group yesternight which deals with the differences human shares, but it never get to me that much, because being able to focus on goodness more than otherwise has been a major motivator.

So in relationships, what you must know is that You won’t always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as
the death of a close family member or the likes. Other events, like job loss, severe health problems or diversity of perspectives can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other.

You might have different ideas of managing finances, raising children or making decisions. Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstanding can rapidly turn to frustration and anger. Letting those frustrations & anger get to you is what turns goodness the other way round, so avoid it in order to save your home & relationship.

WATCH OUT FOR TIPS ON “GETTING THROUGH ITS UP & DOWNS”.

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ARGUMENTATION IN RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

ARGUMENTATION IN RELATIONSHIP

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

An Argument Is A Statement Or Set Of Statements That You Use In Order To Try To Convince People That Your Opinion About Something Is Correct.

In A Case Study Of Mine, I Discovered That A Relationship With No Arguments Is Likely To Be A Relationship With A Lot Of Secrets And Sometimes Secretive Relationships Aren’t So Good Enough For Us.
This Is Why I See Disagreements In Relationships To be Healthy When They Are Minimal.

And The Truth That I Have Come About Them Is That: They Help Partners To Get To Know More Of Each Other’s Likes And Dislikes.
And When Disagreements Arise Between Partners It Doesn’t Mean That They Should Just End A Relationship.
Sometimes A Break Up Is Not A Solution To Minor Problems That Can Be Solved.
Talking Things Out Is Better Than Letting Go Of A Relationship You Have Kept For Many Years Or Months.
So Whenever Disagreements Come Up In Your Relationship Don’t Always Think Of Breaking Up With Your Partner As A Solution.
You Just Have To Text, Call Or Meet Your Partner And You Have A Straight Heart To Heart Talk.
If You Were The One Wrong Admit And Say Sorry To Your Lover. Walk Away, Because Winning That Particular Argument Might Not Worth All The Strife. Take Your Energy Out Of A Losing Battle And Conserve It For Another Time.
And Don’t Feel Bad About Conceding Even If You Feel You Still Have A Horse In The Race. After All, What Does One Really Gain By Arguing With Someone Who Fails To See The Legitima In The Ideas And Opinions Of Others?

So Take A Step Back And Ask Yourself Of The Outcome Of The Argument, Wherever The Victory Falls, Will They Really Make Any Difference To You, At All. This Is What Happy Couples Do When They Fight.
So Instead Of Being The Win-seeker, Relax And Make Things Work As They Ought To. And I Am Certain If Your Partner Truly Loves You He Or She Will Forgive You And Your Relationship Will Go On. So Don’t Feel Too Big To Say Sorry To Your Lover.
Saying Sorry Takes Nothing From You It’s Just A Small Word Which Quickly Soothes The Tension Or The Pain Between Lovers But Very Many People Out There Fail To Say It.
Say It Whenever You Are Wrong So That You Can Save Your Relationship And Always Mean It.

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NECESSITY FOR MARRIAGE - BY DR. HESPEY

NECESSITY FOR MARRIAGE

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

Marriage, As We All Know Is The Union Of Two Opposite Gender, Either For Reproduction Or For Companionship. But The Question That Has Been Coming To My Table For Long Is: "Is Marriage Really Important? And How High Are We To Rate Marriage?"

This Is Why I Have Decided To Bring To You Some Of The Major Reason Why Marriage Is An Important Factor Of Life. Though For Everything Under The Sun, There Are Disadvantages & Advantages. But For The Sake Of Positivity We Will Discuss It Advantage Because Its Advantages Are More Profitable Than Its Disadvantages.

The Advantages Of Marriage As I Have Claimed Is Certain, This Is So, Because For The Fact That There Are Disadvantages In Remaining Single, It Simply Implies That There Are Advantages In Being Married Of Which I Strongly Believe It Cannot Be Denied By Anyone.

First And Foremost, The Creator Of The Universe Himself Exclaimed In The Scripture That "It Is Never Good For The Man To Be Alone" Just As Found In The Book Genesis 2:18. The Unionism Of A Man And A Woman Known As Marriage Was Therefore Instituted Due To This.
From The Beginning, The Marital Relationship Became A Place Of Healing. Just As This Was True For Adam When The Wounds Of Solitude Were Soothed By Eve As Found In Genesis 2:23, So It Is One Of The Characteristics Of Healthy Marriages Today. Couples Bring Old Hurts And Insecurities To Their Marriage. As A New Pattern Of Loving Is Established, Those Scars And Bruises Are Gradually Touched And Healed By God Through One Another. Then They Lose Their Restrictive Power.

The Love That Marriage Produces Is Never Unlimited, Because Marital Love Often Frees Persons To Love Others. Marriage Can Therefore Double A Person's Effectiveness In The Service Of God.
A Couple's Usefulness Is Enhanced By Their Completion Of Each Other And Their Complementarity. As At The Beginning, Marriage Is That Point Where Two Sexually Incomplete But Compatible Persons Of The Opposite Sex Unite. In Fusing Their Bodies, They Create A Whole, New, Third Person, "Us." There Is No Loss Of Identity In This Fusion. Rather, This Combination Of Resources Is An Investment From Which Both Gain. The Dividends Are Mutual Strength, Encouragement And Support. As These "Two Solitudes Protect And Touch And Greet Each Other," They In Turn Find Themselves Able To Reach Out To Others. This Is Love's Overflow. It Is One Of The Reasons Why Christian Marriages Are Greatly Used By God.

For Marital Union Also Known As Marriage Is Not Just About Sexual Activities. Christian Marriage Can Be That Place Where Two Loves Meet; The Human And The Divine, It Can Be A Place Where Interactions With God Becomes A Joint Activity.

The Author Of Genesis Unveils His Mystery In Genesis 1:28-29. Adam And Eve Met The Lord God Who Talked To Them, Instructed Them And Walked With Them In The Garden.
The Joys Of Family Life, Moreover, Are Frequently Applauded In The Old Testament. It Does Not Even Mention A Word For "Bachelor." It Would Seem That Marriage Was The Norm In Those Days.
Then What Does The New Testament Teaches About Marriage? It Is Being Derived That Jesus Places A Strong Emphasis On The Sanctity Of The Marital Bond. He Reiterates The Responsibility That Couples Have To Leave The Past Behind So That They Are Free To Unite To Form A One-body Relationship. Jesus Does Not Only Acknowledges Marriage; He Blesses It With His Presence In The Book Of John 2, Rescues Embarrassed Newly-weds With A Miracle, And Promises That Couples Who Work At "Leaving And Cleaving" Will, Gradually, Become One Just A Found In Matthew 19:4-6.
The Partners Are The Objects Both Of The Other's Love And Of God's Love
This Is The Great Advantage Of Marriage.

This Love Sustains The Woman Who Needs To Be Valued, Respected And Comforted.

But That's Not All, It Also Nurtures The Man Whose Need Is For A Companion, Someone Who Will Be All For Him, Who Will Be On His Side In Times Of Stress.

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ALLURING SEXUAL VIOLENCE - BY DR. HESPEY

ALLURING SEXUAL VIOLENCE

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

Sexual violence is a serious public health and human rights problem with both short-term and long-term consequences on women's physical, mental, and sexual and reproductive health. Whether sexual violence occurs in the context of an intimate partnership, within the larger family or community structure, or during times of conflict, it is a deeply violating and painful experience for its survivor.

Sexual violence is defined as a sexual act committed against someone without that person’s freely given consent. Sexual violence includes the followings:

• Completed or attempted forced penetration of a victim

• Includes unwanted vaginal, oral, or anal insertion through use of physical force or threats to bring physical harm toward or against the victim.

• Completed or attempted alcohol or drug-facilitated penetration of a victim. This includes unwanted vaginal, oral, or anal insertion when the victim was unable to consent because he or she was too intoxicated (e.g. unconscious, or lack of awareness) through voluntary or involuntary use of alcohol or drugs.

Sexual violence isn't just a “women’s issue.” Men and women play a significant role in its prevention. Acknowledging sexual violence as a community-wide problem that impacts all persons regardless of gender is vital to preventing sexual assault.

The goal of sexual violence prevention is simple, and that's to stop it from happening in the first place. The solutions, however, are just as complex as the problem.
Preventing sexual violence requires comprehensive prevention strategies that address factors at each level of the social ecology—individual, relationship, community, and society.

Prevention or alluring of sexual violence needs to begin in early childhood and continue for a full lifetime. Teaching skills to prevent violence starts with learning empathy for others, communication skills and problem solving. It involves promoting healthy sexual behavior through sex education focused on respect for self and others, communication and consent.

Due to our concern for human, here are few list of steps in alluring sexual violence:

1. Stay alert and aware: The very first step for every form of danger avoidance is to Know where the exits are if you are in a building. In crowded places such as nightclubs, churches, mosques or event grounds, always let someone know where you will be. Do not go to isolated places in a building, if you must go, take a friend. Always turn around and look at whoever may be behind you.

2. Do not hide a spare key in obvious places such as under the mat, in a potted plant, in a fake rock or on the doorsill, etc: Residence hall students should keep their room keys in their possession at all times. Do not leave door keys hanging in locks or laying out in plain view of others. Even as a guy, I have mastered the habit of locking myself in my room when alone, just for privacies. So Always lock your doors after you enter your residence, hall, room/house/apartment and also when you leave.

3. Know your sexual limits: In your relationship, there is a great need to know your limits, that's because What you want (sexual violence avoidance) is critical, and you need to know what that is. Be assertive about your limits. You have the right to say “NO.” Communicate your desires with your partner. Communication leads to stronger and more fulfilling relationships.

4. Rape or sexual violence can occur when one or both individuals are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. So Set limits on the consumption of alcohol: Be aware of “Date Rape” drugs. The drugs (Rohypnol, GHB) are odorless and tasteless and can be easily slipped into soft drinks, juices or alcoholic drinks undetected. Do not leave your beverage unattended or accept something to drink from someone you do not know well or trust.

5. Don’t be afraid to “make waves” or hurt someone’s feelings if you feel they are threatening to you: In a relationship, if you feel threatened, it is far better to run and avoid being a victim of sexual violence. It is Better for you to have just few minutes/hours/days of social awkwardness and embarrassment than to go on with life in the trauma of sexual assault.

6. Do not wear skimpy, too attractive or tempting clothes: This is so important, as to the fact that rough dressing attract wrong deeds, so in order to be sexually safe, there is a great need to dress decently and be of godly character, characters which shows you to be of the most high God.

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

DR. HESPEY (2018)

EXCEPTIONAL MEN'S NEEDS IN MARRIAGE

EXCEPTIONAL MEN'S NEEDS IN MARRIAGE

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In a recent conversation with few female friends, there is this lady I asked that: what exactly do you think any guy will really desire from a you?

Her response happens to be what almost every lady already has in mind. She said: Once I am good in bed, able to cook delicious meals & good at my chores, he should be fine and his wants or needs shouldn't go beyond that.

But there is a missing truth in almost every lady, that only few of them possess it.

And that truth is that sex and food can never keep any man no matter how favourite they both are to him. Most Men could really be so secretive and won't tell you what their desires really are, but if you are a good observer and you are patient enough you can get deep into a man’s heart and understand what he wants.
When a man sees the woman he wants to get married to, there are some things he secretly desires that such a woman should bring to the marriage, of which he may not want to mention them.

The very first this I think every exceptional man needs is:

• COMPANIONSHIP: It is been observed that an exceptional husband isn't just a lover but also a friend. Staying friends and companions throughout the years requires that you find ways to make quality time to be together and have new experiences.
And most importantly, Marrying your best friend also means being mindful of how you talk to each other, not taking him for granted, and making small sacrifices to please each other.

Aside the fact that a man needs a companion he also need an

• AFFECTION: Though sex remains very important for most men, but the exceptional ones really want something more and that's Affection. Whether it's holding his hand in public, leaving a love message on his voicemail, or telling him you love him each & every opportunity you gets, it's an act of showing that you care about him, and this will definitely touch his heart.
Simple things you can do include telling him how much you love him, cheering him up when he's feeling doubtful, and telling him you're sorry when things go wrong. You can always go ahead and give him an unexpected hug.

• CARE:
What kills most relationships is that the ladies therein usually feels all cares beings to them. But the fact is that, These days men want to be pampered and cared for by their wife; they want a woman who would be sweet and romantic to them also. It is widely knowns that women openly desire this, but the truth is that men secretly desire it.
Men secretly desire their wife to want them; that is to value them and hold them in high esteem. They want their wife to be proud of them and to cherish them. This would really make them feel like a proud husband in marriage.

• RESPECT: One thing I come to understand & learn is that: Creating a loving and memorable marriage starts with respect right from the day of courtship. Some of those best ways a wife can show her husband that she loves and respects him is by:

- Actively listening to him when he talks, and not interrupting.
- Avoiding making any negative comments about his thoughts and opinions.
- Being considerate of his upcoming plans.
- Avoiding the use of "eye roll" when you disagree with him on anything
- Generally being positive, thankful, and considerate of his wants and needs.3.want their wife to be patient with them and tolerate them as well.

• UNDIVIDED LOVE & ATTENTION: Few weeks ago, I was actually discussing with a lady on how busy most men use to be with their work, the next thing she said was: "if he is too busy to accept my love, I will have to transfer them to my children". And in most homes, it is been noted that this is happening already. My findings shows that women’s love for their husbands tend to be divided after having kids, and the kids even have a greater percentage of the love than the husbands most times. Though, loving ones children is paramount, but neglecting ones husband is dangerous. Exceptional men want to be loved even after having children, they just won't ask for it.
Men also expect these things from the woman they are to marry. So be the best you can be, during courtship and extend your best to your marriage.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

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Www.drhezpey.wordPress.com

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09097964134 (WHATSAPP)

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    DR. HESPEY

TRAINING ON SEX: PRE OR POST MARRIAGE? - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

TRAINING ON SEX: PRE OR POST MARRIAGE?

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

I bless the name of the Lord for who he really is, and for his ways of seeing the importance in his creations.

God created sexual activities as a means of reproduction, pleasure & showing love among couples. He created it to bring in intimacy & to bring to fulfillment each & every of his plan to mankind.

But the question is: Do we really see all these importance as they ought to be seen? Do we view all these benefits in the mirror of its creator?

Lying awake, I thought of what other reason (s) could be behind most broken or shattered homes, and the idea of sexual training & its practice came into my mind.

Now the real question is: should sexual training come before or after marriage?

Well, in a recent tutorial class, we were made to understand that "he who fail to plan has actually plan to fail", but does this include sexual training?

One thing we all need to know is that: "whatever we plan or train for, actually requires its implementation. And bringing it to God's laid down plan for sexual activities, it is meant to be fulfilled among the married ones. So why train for it when you aren't married?

This is why as a counsellor, I see the training of sexual activities before marriage as a tool that is harmful. This is true, because "for every training, there must be a practice". In a contemporary world, PRE marriage sexual training does nothing, but bring you closer to the risk of fornication and this in turn create boundary between you and your maker.

I have come across some couples whose partner is never satisfied sexually, and in the course of looking for satisfaction, he or she may need to step out to fulfil that desire and when questioned, one of those reasons that brought about the act usually comes from the act of PRE marriage training on sex which in turn led to adultery.

Post marriage training on sex is the best line of advice a better counsellor can ever give. One thing that is certain about post marriage training on sex is that: "you won't be trained by any other than your partner" & "you will both train each other to your satisfaction" & "through God's given grace, you will both fulfil God's plan by doing his will".

The act of PRE marriage training on sex was discussed in the bible and described as the act of "awakening love when it's not ripe".

Dear brethren & sister, it is always a thing of joy when each & every game is being played according to the rules guiding them. Play your game as expected of God.

Thanks for reading!!!

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To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

DR. HESPEY (2018)

CONTROLLING YOUR ERECTION AS SINGLES - BY DR. HESPEY

CONTROLLING YOUR ERECTION AS SINGLES

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

The Act Of Being Able To Control Things Around Us Is The Visibility Of Strength, One Of Those Things That Talk About How Strong Or Weak We Are Is Our Personal Mode Of Attacking Whichever Situation We Find Our Self In.
Now, One Thing Most Singles Usually Feels Is That Talking About Erections Seems Embarrassing To Them. But The Fact I Need To To Understand As A Medical Practitioner Is That: Erection Is A Perfectly Normal Part Of Puberty, And Another Point Is That The Older You Get, The More Control You Should Have Over Them.
While You Probably Think It's Embarrassing, Erections Are A Fact Of Male Life And Partly Females (But Only Known To Them). According To My Study In Medical, Women’s Bodies Become Aroused In A Range Of Situations Too, However Women’s Arousal Isn’t Visible In The Same Way That Men’s Arousal Is Visible Via Their Erections.
Women Will Sometimes Experience Genital Warmth, Tingly Sensations Or Vaginal Lubrication When They Feel Aroused Or See Someone Attractive. They May Or May Not Notice These Signs, Though, Because, Again, These Signs Aren’t As Obvious As Men’s Erections But That Doesn’t Mean That They Don’t Occur. In Fact, It Would Be Very Difficult For A Male To Have Sexual Intercourse Without One!
But One Thing I Need You All To Always Note Is That: Your Mind Can Be Very Powerful In Controlling Your Erections.
And That Is Why I Have Decided To Give Out Few Tips On How To Be In Charge Of Your Erection And Not Your Erection Being In Charge Of You.
As Singles, The Following Tips Are Necessary:
1. Think Nonsexual Thoughts To Avoid Becoming Sexually Aroused: As A Single, Whenever The Thought Of Sex Fails To Leave Your Mind, It Will Be Very Difficult For You To Avoid Being Drown By Your Erection. So Instead, Think About Homework, Party, The Scripture Or An Upcoming Event That Excites You.
2. If You Wear Boxer Shorts And Have Frequently Occurring Erections, Consider Wearing Briefs Or Boxer-brief Underwear: These Tend To Fit Tighter And Could Help Hide Your Erection From Public View.
If Worse Comes To Worst, Just Stay Seated And Remain Calm Until The Erection Goes Away After Implementing The First Tip. If You Have To Get Off The Bus, Consider Untucking Your Shirt. Or Use Your Backpack Or A Textbook To Shield It.
3. Distract Yourself From Your Present Thought: We All Know That It's Much Easier Said Than Done, But If You Can Find A Way To Distract Yourself, You Are Halfway Home. Get Your Mind Focused On Something Important, Irreverent, Or Just Plain Weird. According To A Research I Just Did Recently, It's Being Discovered That It's Hard To Actually Think And Have An Erection At The Same Time.
Remember, It's Usually Mind Over Matter When It Comes To Erections. Find What Techniques Work Best For You While Hormones Are Ruling Your Body
Sometimes, Life Throws You A Curveball. You're In A Social Situation, Or With The Opposite Sex, And Before You Know It, There's A Rumbling In Your Loins. Fine, We've All Been There Before: It's Awkward As All Heck And The More You Try, The Worse It Seems To Get. But I Am Here Today To Tell You, Fret Not, Compatriot. An Unwanted Erection Will Bow To Your Will If You Know The Right Techniques — A Combination Of Mind And Body Control.
One Of The Major & Important Fruit Of The Spirit In The Bible Is The Spirit Of Self Control, When One Possesses This, One Is In Charge. Today, Try Seek For It If Not Gotten.
It Is Very Rewarding & Honouring To Be In Charge Of One's Life, Than Being Controlled By A Common Feeling. Control Your Erection, Don't Let It Control You.
God Bless.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2018)