TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 10

SEE GOD'S LOVE AS THE ULTIMATE

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

The word ultimate means before we can all have a Godly relationship, we all must see God's love as the final, and above any.

Like we all know that God Is Love,

"God is Love", but how do we define it?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines love as "an intense affection for another person based on familial or personal ties". Often this "intense affection" stems from a sexual attraction for that other person. We love other people, or we say we love other people, when we are attracted to them and when they make us feel good. Notice that a key phrase in the dictionary definition of love is the phrase "based on." This phrase implies that we love conditionally; in other words, we love someone because they fulfill a condition that we require before we can love them. How many times have you heard or said, "I love you because you are cute;" or "I love you because you take good care of me;" or "I love you because you are fun to be with"?

Our love is not only conditional, it is also mercurial. We love based on feelings and emotions that can change from one moment to the next. The divorce rate is extremely high in today's society because husbands and wives supposedly stop loving one another-or they "fall out of love". They may go through a rough patch in their marriage, and they no longer "feel" love for their spouse, so they call it quits. Evidently, their marriage vow of "till death do us part" means they can part at the death of their love for their spouse rather than at their physical death.

God defines love to us by using the scripture, The Bible tells us that "God is Love" (1 John 4:8). But how can we even begin to understand that truth? There are many passages in the Bible that give us God's definition of love. The most well known verse is John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." So one way God defines love is in the act of giving. However, what God gave (or should we say, "who" God gave) was not a mere gift-wrapped present; God sacrificed His only Son so that we, who put our faith in His Son, will not spend eternity separated from Him. This is an amazing love, because we are the ones who choose to reject God, yet it's God who mends the separation through His intense personal sacrifice, and all we have to do is accept His gift.

Another great verse about God's ultimate love is found in Romans 5:8, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. " In this verse and in John 3:16, we find no conditions placed on God's love for us. God doesn't say, "as soon as you clean up your act, I'll love you; " nor does He say, "I'll sacrifice my Son if you promise to love Me." In fact, in Romans 5:8, we find just the opposite. God wants us to know that His love is unconditional, so He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us while we were still unlovable sinners. We didn't have to get clean, and we didn't have to make any promises to God before we could experience His love. His love for us has always existed, and because of that, He did all the giving and sacrificing long before we were even aware that we needed His love.

What we must all know is that, God's love for us is Unconditional and His love is very different from human love. God's love is unconditional, and it's not based on feelings or emotions. He doesn't love us because we're lovable or because we make Him feel good; He loves us because He is love. He created us to have a loving relationship with Him, and He sacrificed His own Son (who also willingly died for us) to restore that relationship.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com
For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

FLAWLESS MARRIAGE? - BY DR. HESPEY

FLAWLESS MARRIAGE?

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

Few Months Ago, A Question Came To Me From A Member Of My Facebook Group, She Asked Me Whether There Are Perfect Marriages, Wether They Exist Or They Never Exist.

As A Very Young Counsellor, I Have Listened To Wonderful Marriage Counselors Preach A Wonderful Sermon That Put All Participants Into State Of Confusion Because They Thought Their Marriages Are Not Marriages At All. 

God Has Always Arranges It In Such A Way That I Would Be Invited After Such ‘super Apostles Of Marriage’ Would Have Left The Mic.

Their Messages Revolve Round Them. 

Some Have Said That Since They Were Married In 30 Years, They Have Never Disagreed With Their Spouses. 

Something In Me Would Say, ‘hmmmmmm, A Sign Of Doubt & I Will Say This Is Not A Relationship!’

Each Of The Partners Would Have Lived A False Life.

The God That Created Anger Wants You To Use It Appropriately. The Bible Made Mentioned Of Getting Angry, But Sin Not & Let Not The Sun Set While You Are In Anger.

I Was Invited To A Place Where The Best And The Closest Family Was About Fifty Years.

The Man Was Asked For The Where About Of His Best Friend.

Guess His Answer ‘he Lives In Another Town. My Wife Also Knows Him’. Ha Ha Ha! 

One Would Have Thought His Best Friend Was His Wife!

Another Couple Who Celebrated Their 50th Wedding Anniversary Was Interviewed Sometimes Ago.

Each Of Them Claimed Their Wedding Was Peaceful.

There Was No Quarrel, Argument Or Unhappiness Over Anything.

They Were Applauded.

When Each Was Asked Separately, The Man Said That If He Had Another Opportunity To Marry In Heaven, He Would Choose His Wife Again, Again And Again.

When The Wife Was Asked The Same Question, She Said That She Would Rather Remain Single For Eternity If Her Current Husband Was The Last Person Left For Her To Marry.

When She Was Asked For The Secret Of Her Peaceful Marriage, She Said That She Had Never Said ‘no’ To Anything Her Husband Suggested-even If That Would Lead Them To Hell. 

Since That Would Make Them Keep Their Relationship, Although At The Expense Of Her Inner Peace And Fulfillment!

Every Home Is Peculiar And No Home Is Inferior Or Superior.

If What Happened To A Bad Relationship Also Happened To A Good Relationship Elsewhere, The Supposed Good Relationship Would Be Worse-and Not Bad.

No Marriage Should Compare Its Operation With Another Because; Each Is Operating On Different Platform Just As I Have Discussed This In The Nine Part Of The Ten Commandments For Godly Relationships Few Hours Ago.

Sometimes, The Physically Troubled Homes Are Much More Better Than The Supposed Peaceful Home.

I Think I Need To Say This Because There Are Many Homes That Are Tired, And Are Already Seeking Legal Advises.

Do Not Jump Out Of A Moving Train Just Because Of A False Alert; There Might Not Be Any Danger.

The Separated Wished They Had Approach The Matter Differently-after They Had Taken Such A Step!

If Every Partner Should Spend Half Of The Time He Or She Spends To Map Out Strategy To Frustrate The Spouse On How To Make The Home Better, Most Homes Would Have Been Wonderful. 

Think About This!!!

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 9

AVOID COMPARISON

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

Comparison is one of the major causes of some broken relationship these days, its common among the ladies & very few guy to are victims. Comparison kills when used often in the presence of one's partner.

The problem with comparing your relationship to other people's relationship is that you never have all of the information. 

You’re making assumptions based only on part of the facts, but the reality is that unless you’re in the relationship, you’ll never fully grasp its delicate dynamic.

This truth, coupled with the fact that people tend to present their best face to the public, exemplifies why your comparisons cannot be based in complete accuracy. You then judge the quality of your relationship by something which essentially doesn’t exist.

The real fact and truth that you must know is that No Two Relationships Are Alike.

As relationships are comprised of two unique individuals, bringing different life experiences to the relationship, no two couples are alike.

To judge the quality of your relationship on whether the two of you have the same dynamic as other couples is a waste of time.

No one can tell you how your relationship should be, especially since what works for some people definitely doesn’t work for others.

Therefore, All you need to be sure of is if the two of you work, with your individual and distinct personalities that make your relationship uniquely yours.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 8

DON'T REPLACE GOD WITH HUMAN IN TERMS OF THINGS

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

To The Knowledgeable Ones About The Scripture, One Of The Names And Attributes Of God Is “the Provider”.

A Believer In A God For This Universe Necessarily Believes That This God Is A Provider. God Is Surely The Provider, Along With Whom There Is No Other Provider.

Romans 9:16

So Then It Is Not Of Him That Willeth, This Is Not A Consequence Drawn By An Adversary, Showing That If This Be The Case, It Signifies Nothing For Men To Will Or Do, They May Even Sit Still And Do Nothing, But Depend On The Mercy Of God; But This Is A Conclusion Of The Apostle's From The Above Cited Testimony, Inferring From Thence, That Election, Which Is What He Is Discoursing Of, Is "Not Of Him That Willeth", Nor Of Him That Runneth: That Is, Is Not Owing To The Will Or Works Of Men, To The Desires, Inclinations, And Affections Of Their Minds, Or To The Actions Of Their Lives; These Are Not The Motives, Conditions, Or Causes Of This Act: But Of God That Sheweth Mercy;

The main point here is that the Lord we serve is the only provider, look not up to your partner as far as dating is concern for anything God can actually provide. Looking up to your partner can prompt you to engage in negativities.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 7

BE IN A COMMUNITY OF WISE CHRISTIANS

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In one of the past part of this write up, I made mention of knowing who and who you are to be in a relationship with. There should be selectivity when it comes to those that will impact you positively & negatively.

So The reason why you need to be surrounded by these sets of people mentioned above is because Spiritually Wise Christianity knows that this life down here is a battle and there is a constant battle going on within our spiritual hearts all the time.

The apostle Paul writes about this battle that so wars against the Holy Spirit and is constantly urging us to give in to its power.

Galatians 5:17 says, “For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.”

A “Spiritually Wise Christian” knows that there is a battle for the child of God’s heart, mind, and soul. There is that enemy the New American Standard Bible calls “…the flesh [which] sets its desire against the [Holy] Spirit.” (Galatians 5:17) The King James hits the source right upon the head when it translated this verse as, “For the flesh lusteth against the [Holy] Spirit.”

The key word that the wise Christian focuses on in this particular passage of Scripture is “lusteth” (epithumeo) meaning to have a yearning passion for.

The practical application is that it has a pulling effect that grabs you and won’t let go. This causes the child of God or lost sinner to desire, to want, to crave, to hunger, to thirst, to grasp and actually take a hold of that which destroys or inhibits a healthy relationship with Christ.

But if you surround yourself with these wise Christians, they will lead & guide you through certain things of which you need to know about. These wise Christians may be your mentor, pastor, teacher or counsellor.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 6

COMPROMISE NOT THE VALUES

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

There are some values in your relationship that needed to be maintain if perhaps you want a successful & god-fearing relationship with your partner. I will list few here & discuss about them in a short way.

•. Trust

Trust is one of the most important factors in a relationship. If you don't trust the person you are with, then it is probably not a healthy, stable relationship and you most likely feel insecure about it. Trust grows stronger over time and can definitely be built - a lack of trust early on in the relationship just means there is work to do.

•. Honesty

Being truthful and honest is major when it comes to relationships. A relationship built on false hope and white lies will only crumble in the end, no matter how much you love the other person. Being honest leads to good communication, which can strengthen many aspects of a relationship.

•. Respect

Regardless of sounding like a cliché, love can be binding especially when it comes to self-worth. No amount of love is worth giving up who you are and the respect you deserve. Love is not a justification for disrespect or abuse. Partners must be respectful of each other and who they are for a healthy relationship to grow.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

EFFECTS OF PREMARITAL SEX - BY DR. HESPEY

​EFFECTS OF PREMARITAL SEX

PART 5

"YOU DEVELOP "SOUL TIES"

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

What Many Singles Fail To Realize Is That Their Soul Joins With The Soul Or Souls Of Those They Engages Every Act Of Premarital Sex With.

I Will Call This “SOUL TIES,” Because Your Soul Is Actually Being Tied Or Entangled Together With The Soul Of The Person You Had Sex.

Soul Ties Can Be Considered Carry-on Luggage.

It Is Unwanted, Hindering, Emotionally Draining Baggage That Attaches Itself To Your Soul Everytime You Sexually Involve Yourself With Someone Outside Of Marriage.

Not Only Are You Carrying On The Baggage Of The Person You Have Sex With, But Every Person They Had Sex With And So On And So On.

Now, That’s A Lot Of Baggage.

You Get Involved With The Wrong Crowd. (1corinthians 15:33) Says, “bad Company Corrupts Good Morals.”

Don’t Fool Yourself Into Thinking That You Can Hang Around Sexually Active People Who Drink And Not Be Influenced By Their Actions.

When You Begin Making Bad Decisions, You Often Find Yourself Surrounded By Others Who Are Making The Same Bad Decisions.

Don’t Fool Yourself Into Believing That You Can Hang Out With People That Are Living Wild And Unrestrained And Not Be Affected.

(Galatians 6:7) Says, “be Not Deceived God Is Not Mocked, For Whatsoever A Man Soweth (Plants), That Shall He Also Reap (Produce).”

This Is Just One Of The Major Reason Why You Still Need To Be Extra Careful With Who & Whom You Choose To Be Around You. Life Is Too Short To Be Surrounded By The Wrong Sets Of People.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 5

UNEQUALLY YOKE WITH UNBELIEVERS

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

When you I speak about UNEQUALLY YOKED,
Question: "What does it mean to be unequally yoked?" Arises.

The phrase “unequally yoked” comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14 & It says: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (KJV).

The New American Standard Version says, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

To me, I see a yoke as a wooden bar or glue that joins two oxen to each other and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter.

The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another.

Paul’s admonition in 2 Corinthians 6:14 is part of a larger discourse to the church at Corinth on the Christian life. He discouraged them from being in an unequal partnership with unbelievers because believers and unbelievers are opposites, just as light and darkness are opposites.

They simply have nothing in common, just as Christ has nothing in common with “Belial,” a Hebrew word meaning “worthlessness” as found in (verse 15). Here Paul uses it to refer to Satan. The idea is that the pagan, wicked, unbelieving world is governed by the principles of Satan and that Christians should be separate from that wicked world, just as Christ was separate from all the methods, purposes, and plans of Satan. He had no participation in them; He formed no union with them, and so it should be with the followers of the one in relation to the followers of the other.

Attempting to live a Christian life with a non-Christian for our close friend and ally will only cause us to go around in circles.

The “unequal yoke” is often applied to business relationships. For a Christian to enter into a partnership with an unbeliever is to court disaster. Unbelievers have opposite worldviews and morals, and business decisions made daily will reflect the worldview of one partner or the other.

For the relationship to work, one or the other must abandon his moral center and move toward that of the other. More often than not, it is the believer who finds himself pressured to leave his Christian principles behind for the sake of profit and the growth of the business.

Of course, the closest alliance one person can have with another is found in marriage, and this is how the passage is usually interpreted. God’s plan is for a man and a woman to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), a relationship so intimate that one literally and figuratively becomes part of the other. Uniting a believer with an unbeliever is essentially uniting opposites, which makes for a very difficult marriage relationship.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 4

KNOW YOUR IDEAL MATCH (COMPATIBILITY)

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

According to other marriage counsellors, compatibility is a key to a life-long partnership.  “Compatibility is more important than love, believe it or not, and it goes hand in hand with respect and communication at the top,”. I won't talk much here on compatibility, because it a topic already spoken about in my book, titled: BUILDING THE GODLY YOUTH. So if perhaps you don't have a copy, try get one. It is very essential.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

PURITY LESSON - BY DR. HESPEY

PURITY LESSON

LESSON 4

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

As A Counsellor, There Are Some Sets Of Guys & Ladies That Are Probably Thinking That It Is Too Late For Them To Be Purified After Being A Victim.

If Probably You’ve Already Had Sex, You Might Think That It’s Too Late To Be Abstinent. But What I Have Gathered Is That This Perspective Is Far From The Truth And It Is 100% False.

What You Must Know Is That Today Decides What Tomorrow Will Look Like. See, The Stuff You Do With Your Life Now Affects The Way Your Life Will Be Later.

Even If You’ve Made Mistakes In The Past, You Still Want To Give Yourself The Best Chance For Succeeding In The Future.

So Due To That Mistake, But A Change In Heart, I Recommend Secondary Virginity:

Know & Believe That Your Past Is Your Past And Its Gone Forever.

Maybe You Made Some Mistakes.

Haven’t We All Made One Mistake Or The Other?

Let’s Deal With Today And Forget About Yesterday.

For Starters, You Should Set Up An Appointment With Your Doctor.

Be Honest And Tell Your Physician About Your Sexual History So He Or She Has The Information They Need To Properly Care For You.

You’re No Longer A Virgin, But A Secondary Virginity Is All About Second Chances And You Got One Right Now.

Make A Commitment Starting From Today, That You Will Not Have Sex Again Until Your Wedding Night.

And Stand By Your New Commitment Without Compromise.

It’s Way More Than Do-able.

Make It Easier, Tell Your Friends About Your Decision And Ask Them To Encourage You To Help You Keep It.

You Need To Have Support In This One.

And Let The People You Date Know Where You Stand On This Issue.

It Will Help You Figure Out Who Really Cares About You, Not Just Your Body.

Consider Spending More Time In Groups And Less Time Alone With A Date.

And Avoid Situations That Include The Use Of Drugs And Alcohol.

They Can Cloud Your Judgment And Numb Your Ability To Stay In Control.

Give It A Try.

You Won’t Regret It. Abstinence Is Rewarding!!!

Join this campaign, here in Ibadan today: #WE_CARE_ABOUT_GODLINESS

#PURITY_IS_THE_WAY

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

​TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 3

DEFINING LIMITS TO ROMANTIC AFFAIRS

WRITTEN BY DR HESPEY

In This Third Commandment For Godly Relationships, I Think There Is A Great Need For Me To Touch The Aspect Of Romance It.

A Romantic Affair Which Is Also & Commonly Known As An Affair Of The Heart, May Refer To Sexual Liaisons Among Unwed Or Wedded Parties, Or To Various Forms Of Relationship. But Today, I Am Referring To Romantic Affairs Among The Unwedded Parties.

Unlike A Casual Relationship, Which Is A Physical And Emotional Relationship Between Two People Who May Have Sex Without Expecting A More Formal Romantic Relationship, An Affair Is By Its Nature Romantic.

Affair May Also Describe Part Of An Agreement Within An Open Marriage Or Open Relationship, Such As Swinging, Dating, Or Polyamory, In Which Some Forms Of Sex With One's Non-primary Partner(S) Are Permitted And Other Forms Are Not.

Participants In Open Relationships, Including Unmarried Couples And Polyamorous Families, May Consider Sanctioned Affairs The Norm, But When A Non-sanctioned Affair Occurs, It Is Described As Infidelity And May Be Experienced As Adultery, Or A Betrayal Both Of Trust And Integrity, Even Though To Most People It Would Not Be Considered "Illicit".

When A Romantic Affair Lacks Both Overt And Covert Sexual Behavior And Yet Exhibits Intense Or Enduring Emotional Intimacy It May Be Referred To As An Emotional Affair, Platonic Love, Or A Romantic Friendship.

So AS Godly Ones, Every Sort Of Affairs That Is Of God should be cleared out.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

EFFECTS OF PREMARITAL SEX - BY DR. HESPEY

EFFECTS OF PREMARITAL SEX

PART 4

SELF-DESTRCTIVE BEHAVIOUR

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

As A Christian & Counsellor, What I Have Come To Learn Is That When You Engage In Premarital Sex, You Are Consciously Sinning Against God. Of Which It Can Lead To A Perpetual Cycle Of Self-destruction.

You Develop Low Self-esteem, Low Self-worth, And Diminished Expectations Of Yourself.

In Many Cases, The Devastation That Comes From Giving A Holy Thing (Your Body, The Temple Of The Holy Spirit) To An Unholy Cause, (Physical Gratification Outside Of Marriage) Will Lead To Feelings Of:

Emptiness,

Embarrasement &

Confusion.

You Begin To Question Everything About Yourself And The World, As You Know It.

Just The Way Adam And Eve Realized Their Nakedness After Their Sin Which Cost Them Their Home (A Beautiful Garden Where God Dwells), You Realize Your Nakedness Before God, And Because You Are Not Equipped To Deal With It At Such An Early Age, You Sink Into An Abyss Of Self-loathing And Destructive Behavior.

Many Students’ Grades Drop And They Lose Interest In Things That They Once Enjoyed After Having Sex.

This Doesn,T Just Happen, It Happens When They Remember Feeling Super Insecure About Almost Everything After They Had Sex.

If They Felt Insecure About It Before Sex, It Was Only Worsened Afterward.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

​TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 2

ABSTAINING FROM ALL SORTS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITIES & BE PURE

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

This second part is just as important as the first. Given our culture's obsession with sex, it's amazing to think about all the things we don't talk about when it comes to sex.

Take for example the term "having sex."  Do you remember learning for the first time what that meant?  If you do, it probably had something to do with intercourse. 

But in practice, as an adult, do you only say you had sex when intercourse was involved?  Probably not. 

Which brings us to a basic question we rarely talk about:  What is included in having sex and what isn't? 

Lots of questions has always been raised, questions like, When does a touch become a sexual activity?

Let me start by giving us the my own definition of Sex:

As far as I am concern, and with my little young knowledge, One definition of a sexual activity is any behavior that someone engages in alone, or consensually with others, that is considered sexual by the people engaging in it. 

In other words if everyone involved wants to do it, and thinks of it as sexual, then it's reasonable to call it sex (for them).  

Two important caveats. First, consent is key here, because of the activity isn't consensual, then it isn't sex, it's sexual assault or rape. Second, just because one person thinks of an activity as sex doesn't mean everyone will.  Some people consider tickling a part of sex.  Others would say it's torture.

Defining certain activities as sex won't ever work outside of a particular community and time.  Sex doesn't happen in a vacuum and what is sexual changes over time, and is influenced by culture, gender, class, ethnicity, and more.

But since so few of us talk about this, and most of us are told that "real sex" equals intercourse a list of some of the many ways people have sex might be useful.

The List In No Particular Order are:

Kissing: using lips to touch and feel any part of someone else's body.

Giving or getting hickeys (using your teeth and mouth to leave temporary marks on a partners body).

Oral sex: using your mouth to stimulate a partner's genitals (cunnilingus, fellatio, analingus).

Using another body part (hands, elbows, feet, whatever works) to stimulate a partners genitals (penis and scrotum, vulva, vagina, and clitoris, anus and rectum, inguinal canals/muffing).

Non-genital sexual touch: using another body part (hands, elbows, feet, whatever works) to erotically touch or explore your own or your partner's whole body.

Edging:  bringing your partner (or yourself) to the edge of a sexual climax, then pulling back and playing with the line.

Tickling.

Massage: using any part of your body to sensually touch and relax any part of your own or a partner's body.

Dry humping, fully clothed rubbing of your body with someone else's body (frottage).

Naked body rubbing, rubbing genitals together without penetration (tribadism).

Chest, breast, and/or nipple stimulation.

Masturbation: stimulating yourself for sexual pleasure.

Mutual masturbation: stimulating yourself with one or more person present.

Ejaculating during sex. And having non-ejaculatory orgasms.

Sex toys: using alone or with a partner.

The "B" in BDSM: Restricting your own or a partner's movement during sex (tying up, restraining body parts).

Restricting your own or a partner's senses during sex (wearing headphones, blindfold, covering parts of the body so they can't be touched).

Pinching, spanking, or slapping for sexual pleasure.

Vaginal intercourse: using a penis or strap on.

Anal intercourse: (using a penis or strap-on).

There is a great need to do away with all of this if perhaps you actually want a better and founded relationship, of which God is the source.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS - BY DR. HESPEY

​TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

PART 1

SEEING GOD AS THE PLANNER, SOURCE OF STRENGTH & WISDOM

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In this first part of the commandments, the Fundamental Starting Point For All Other Relationships Is One’s Relationship With God. What you must know is that If Our Relationship With God Is Wrong, The Foundation Has Been Laid For All Other Relationships To Be Fundamentally Flawed.

The Essence Of A Wrong Relationship With God Is To Place Greater Value On Anything Or Anyone Than The Value One Recognizes In God.

I Once Had A Young Man Admit That He Had Been Living A Self-centered Life, Declaring That He Was Going To Abandon This Approach. In Response To This Declaration, I Thought, “good.” He Proceeded To State, “I Am Going To Live To Please My Wife And Daughter.”

To This, I Thought, “not Good,” and I replied him saying, Unless You Live To Please God Supremely, Your Wife Will Never Have The Husband God Wants Her To Have And Your Daughter Will Never Have The Father God Wants Her To Have.”

So the main key that must be noted is that Proper Relationship With God Is The Foundation For Approaching All Other Relationships Properly.

A Right Relationship With God Is Based On The Recognition And Full Embrace Of His Intrinsic Supremacy. It Is Not Based On Using God As A Means Of Furthering One’s Selfish Interests, but rather it is Giving God Permission To Take You To Heaven, Bless You, “save” You Or Any Other Variation Of A Self-centered Proposition.

Jesus Stated, “if Anyone Wishes To Come After Me, He Must Deny Himself, And Take Up His Cross And Follow Me. For Whoever Wishes To Save His Life Will Lose It; But Whoever Loses His Life For My Sake Will Find It” (Mt.16:24-25).

I Find It Hard To Believe That There Is A General Assumption That Correcting One’s Relationship With God Is A Simple Matter Of Saying A Few Magical Words Or Merely Asking For Forgiveness When, In Fact, One’s Heart Has Never Changed, Requesting Religious Party-favors For A Supremely Selfish Motive.

It Is Significant To Understand That God Desires That We Have A Right Relationship With Him, Not Because He Is Ultimately Self-centered And Egotistically Wants Personal Recognition (Glory). He Knows That The Only True Foundation For Love, Blessing, Peace And Prosperity To Exist In Any Other Area Of Life Is Under His Loving Guidance.

Therefore, We Must Do Our Best To Preach, Teach And Declare An Accurate Message Of Repentance Towards God And Faith In The Lord Jesus Christ.’

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

EFFECTS OF PREMARITAL SEX - BY DR. HESPEY

​EFFECT OF PREMARITAL SEX

PART 3

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (STD’s)

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

As a young medical practitioner, one of the most known and clearly observed effect of FORNICATION among singles is this. The spread of this diseases through sexual contact is not a pretty picture.

STD’s reveal themselves through

Burning,

Itching,

Oozing, and Pus filled sores on your genitals.

Now that’s gross!

Even if you don’t visibly see a sore on your genitals it does not mean that you have not been infected. Let’s see, you can either practice self-control and wait until you are married to have sex, or you can take your chances and hope you don’t catch anything that will require shots or taking medication several times a day.

Have you ever seen the commercials with attractive young people who are talking about having herpes?

They say things like, “I only have to take such and such medication five times a day and I feel great.

”That’s ridiculous.

They are insulting our intelligence.

Some STD’s are incurable. If you catch them you have them for life.

That’s a lifetime prison sentence, in exchange for a moment of pleasure with someone you may not even like in three days to come.

I have someone I counselled whose little sister contracted herpes the first time she had sex.

I’m no mathematician, but that just doesn’t seem to add up.

MAKE A CHANGE & HELP THY FUTURE!!!

Campaign day 1 from OGBOMOSO.

Join this month's campaign: #PREMARITAL_SEX_IS_IMPURE

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

EFFECTS OF PREMARITAL SEX - BY DR. HESPEY

​EFFECTS OF PREMARITAL SEX

PART 2

TEEN PREGNANCY

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

Almost Everybody Who Engages In Premarital Sex Knows That It Often Leads To Unplanned Or Unwanted Pregnancies.

Teenagers However Have More Odds Stacked Against Them Than Older Women Do.

In My Study Concerning This, Statistics Suggest Teens Are Two Times More Likely To Die In Childbirth Or Pregnancy Than Older Women Are.

This Seems To Be So Because They Have:

Difficult Deliveries,

Scarring,

Stretchmarks,

Low Birth Weight Babies,

Along With The Standard Sagging Breast And Tummy,

Weight Gain,

Nausea,

Tears And Dark Circles Under Their Eyes.

Why Would You Want To Deal With All Of This Unnecessary Drama In The Prime Of Your Life?

Could This Be Why God Tells Us To Stay Pure Until We Are Married?

He Knows The Impacts Of Sex On Our Body. That Is Why He Called It Fornication When Done Before Its Time.

And (Romans 6:23) Says, “for The Wages Of Sin Is Death…” God Is Our Heavenly Father.

The Same Way Your Earthly Father Wants To Protect You From Harm, God Desires So Much More To Protect You From The Effects (Or Wages) Of Sin On Your Body And Your Soul.

Stay Pure & Health, Protect The Body Of Christ & Make It Clean.

May You Be Given The Grace In Jesus Name!!!

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

SECONDARY PURITY LESSON - BY DR. HESPEY

SECONDARY PURITY LESSON

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

There Are Just Few Things I Think We All Need To Know About Purity & Re-purity. The Fact Remains That Your Virginity Is A Major Asset And It's Something That You Can Give To Only One Person And You Can Give It Out Just Once In A Lifetime.

Once Lost, You Cannot Get It Back Physically, But My Dear, God Permit A Second Time, And This Is Where I Will Introduce SECONDARY PURITY. You Can Get Back Your Inner Virginity which is your Purity.

In Another Form It Is Called “SECONDARY VIRGINITY, But here I am Calling It SECONDARY PURITY Today.

So Then, What Is SECONDARY PURITY In Term Of Virginity?

SECONDARY PURITY To Me Is Defined As An Act Or Intention To Choose To Say NO To Any Further Sexual Activity Until Marriage And Living With That Decision Till The D Day (WEDDING).

There Is This Saying I Use In My Counsellings, It Goes Thus: YOU BECOME EXACTLY WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO BECOME.

This Simply Means, If You Make This Choice And Live It Out, You Will Become A Different Person Just As You've Choosen To.

It Is A Common Saying That, Once You Have Been A Victim Of Sexual Activities Before Marriage, You Will Keep On Doing It. They See It As A Continuous Event. In Fact, They Will Tell You That You Won't Be Able To Utter The Word NO When Sex Needs You.”

This Is Never The Real Line My Dear, Get This Straight, Its Just Their Own Saying, And That's The Limitation Of Their Knowledge.

My Dear, You Can Change! You Can Become A New Leave If You Choose To.

Just Because You've Once Been A Victim Does Not Mean You Should Continue Being A Victim Of Ungodliness.

If Perhaps You've Been A Victim Of Wrong Circumstance Before, This Doesn't Mean You Have To Live The Whole Of Your Life Falling Victim Of That Same Wrong Circumstance.  

So My Dear Reader, Because You Made A Mistake In Getting Involved With Sex Does Not Mean That You Have To Keep On Making That Silly Mistake.

You Can Choose To Be Different Again By Choosing SECONDARY PURITY.

Thousands Of Teens Make This Choice everyday! And I Have Testimonies Of Some.

Though Whichever Thing You Choose To Do Has To Do With Your Knowledge About That Thing.

Most Teenagers Choose Purity For A Number Of Reasons Of Which I Discovered In A Interview With Some.

Some Choose It Because They Realized That Their Past Was Actually A Wrong One. While Some Got Tired Of Being Used And Dumped.

Meanwhile, Some Were Actually Scared Of Aids And The Other Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Some Learned The Lesson Of Purity In Wrong Way And They Came Back To Their Senses. 

Some Actually Choose Purity To Avoid An Occurrence Of Unwanted Pregnancy That Will Bring Abortion To Their Mind And Damage Their Organ.

The Fact Remains That Whatever You Enjoy From Every Act Of Premarital Sex Will Never Be Of Equal Percentage With What It Will Cost You. It Cost A Lot.

When You Choose SECONDARY PURITY, Its One Of The Best Decision By Allowing Christ To Take Over You. And One Of The Wonderful Things About Taking Jesus As Your Savior Is That God Makes You A New Person.

This Decision Makes God To Click On The DELETE BUTTON And Wipes Out Your Past And You Automatically Become A New Person In Christ Jesus.

You Are As Clean And Pure In God’s Sight As Christ Himself. Because In The Bible, He Said, Just As Christ Is In The World, So Are We.

So "If Anyone Is In Christ, He Is A New Creation: Old Things Are Passed Away; Behold, All Things Are Become New” Just As Found In (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Dears Brothers & Sisters: 

I Urge You This Present Moment, Know The Truth, Walk In It, Live With It, & Let Thy Ways Be Clean.

I Pray The Lord Help You.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN - BY DR. HESPEY

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN

PART 5

BE A GOOD SOURCE

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

I Was Actually Inspired To Write This Fifth Part Of This Write Up By A Yoruba Proverb Which Says: "Ile Latin Ma N Ko Eso Ro 'de" Meaning For Whichever Beauty Or Deeds, One's Home Is Usually The Source and always responsible for it. 

Psychological Studies Have Shown That People Seek Out Partners To Fill A Psychological Void. 

Sometimes These Voids Are Unhealthy; For Example A Woman Who Is Unhealthy Will Actually Seek Out Any Man For The "High Of Seduction" Or To Get Attention And Feel Desirable.

This Is Why As A Lady, You Need To Look Inside Yourself And Ask Yourself Why You Want A Man So Badly, You Need To Be Truly Honest With Yourself And If Need Be, Talk To A Therapist About This.

A Woman With Issues Only Attracts A Guy With Issues As Well, And A Good, Real Man Doesn't Want Anything To Do With A Woman Who Has More Issues Than Time Magazine.

If You Want A Good, Healthy Relationship With A Real Man, Make Certain That Your Own Mental State And Intentions Are Healthy & Pure.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN - BY DR. HESPEY

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN

PART 4

REALIZE DIFFERENCES IN COMMUNICATION

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

After Talking About Being Cool Headed And Having A Relaxed Body As The Third Part Of This Write Up, I See Realization Of What Communication Means As The Next Key To Acquire A Better Man In The Future.

This Is Needed Because proving hard to get can make you skip the man that is well suitable for you and Men Can Often Miss The Subtle Messages That Women Send In Their Body Language. Don't Judge A Guy Because Of This; It's Just The Way Men Are.

Subtle Body Language Like Smiles Only Make A Man Think That You Might Like Him; He Can't Assume It Means You're Interested Without Being Accused Of Being A Self-absorbed Jerk. 

To Drive The Point Home, Gradually Introduce More "Obvious" Body Language Like Playful Banter And Teasing, Winks, Inside Jokes, Playfulness, Or (When You Know Him Better) Attempts To Find A Man's Ticklish Spots.

(Don't Be Afraid To Kindly Tease Him Over Minor Things - Women Who Pretend A Man Is Perfect Are Regarded As Weak In Their Eyes.)

This Will Not Only Show Him You Like Him Enough To Get That Physical And Playful, But Also Help To Break The Physical Barrier And Allow A Man To Feel More Comfortable Making A Few Advances To You.

But Don't Forget To Look At How He Is Reacting To You.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN - BY DR. HESPEY

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN

PART 3

LEARN TO BE RELAXED AND COOL

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

What Made Me Choose To Write About This Topic Is Not Just Because I Felt So, But Because I Actually Want To Help Those Frustrated Sisters Who Find It So Hard To Get The Man Of Their Dreams, In The Course Of Seekong For The Best, They Ended Up Falling For The Wrong And Irresponsible Ones.

But What You Must Note Is That Most Guys Hate It When Girls Are Possessive, Moody, Clingy, Controlling, Etc.

As A Lady, You Need To Be Calm, Just As The Yorubas Will Say It: "Eni Ti O Te Ori Mole Lo Mo Nkan To N Wa" (He Who Is Calm & Cool Headed Knows What He/She Is Looking For). So You Need To Learn To Be Relaxed, And Have Fun.

We All Have Too Much Going On In Our Lives; Don't Be The High Maintenance "Drama Queen". 

The Fact Is That Having A Woman Around Who Makes Life More Difficult Than Enjoyable Will Make A Man Lose Interest And Look For A Better Option.

If You Do Things That Has To Do With Showing Genuine Concern When The Man Has Had A Rough Day, It Will Earn His Respect And Go Toward Winning Him Over And A Good Man Will Reciprocate.

Remember That Most Men, Especially The Good Ones, Are Looking For Someone With Whom They Can Be Comfortable With, And Not Someone Who Is Always Intense.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN - BY DR. HESPEY

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN

PART 2

LEARN TO HAVE A PERSONAL LIFE

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

The First Part Of The Write Up Was On How & Reasons Why You Need To BE YOURSELF, In This Second Part, Just As Being Your Able Self Is Important, So It Is For You To HAVE A LIFE Of Your Own.

You Actually Have A Life Given By The Creator, So The Life Am Talking About Here Is To Have A Life That Is Not Depending On Any before it could survive.

Desperate, Dramatic, And Clingy Relationships Are Often Rooted In A Feeling Of Need And Desperation For A Man To Fill Your Life.

Even If You Have Low Self-esteem, Work Over Time To Build It. Pursue Your Goals And Be Focused, Explore Your Passions, Have An Interesting Life, Do Things That Take You Outside Your Boundaries. 

Don't Put Up A Tough Exterior To Get Over Shyness; Gradually Learn To Build Trust With A Network Of People, So That Your Boyfriend Isn't The Only Person You Open Up To And Share Your Life With.

Also Remember To Trust Yourself First.

If You Can't Trust Yourself, You Are Likely To Not Trust Your Man.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN - BY DR. HESPEY

SECURING A RESPONSIBLE MAN

PART 1

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

BEING YOURSELF

The Need For This Write Up Is Just To Enlighten Some Ladies. In My Counselling Career, When You Meet A Lady And Ask Her How She Was Able To Get The Man She's Dating Or Courting With, She Will Tell You Its Because "Am Beautiful Sir", But To Be Sincere With Ourselves My Dear, Getting A Good & Responsible Man Isn't An Easy Task.

So Therefore, It Is Not An Easy Task For Women To Find A Good And Responsible Man. And To Be Honest It Is Not Easy For A Man Either To Find A Good And Responsible Woman.

This Write Up Is Written From My Own Perspective To Help Frustrated Women That Are Sincerely Looking For A Good Man But Keep Finding Losers Coming Their Way.

To Get A Responsible Man, There Are Things You Need To Do About Yourself, And Of Which The Very First Should Be Being Yourself:

When You Meet Someone For The First Time, You May Be Tempted To Be Someone You're Not, Such As "Putting On Your Best Face".

There's Nothing Wrong With Wanting To Make A Good Impression. However, I Have Come To Learn That It Is Possible To Take This Too Far And In Turn Repel Men.

The Same Applies With Myths About Dressing Sexy And Excessive Flirtation. The Fact Is That If You Do Not Respect Your Body, You Will Only Attract Men Who Have A Similar Lack Of Respect For You And Your Body, And A Good And Responsible Man Will Find It More Difficult To Take You Seriously.

BE YOURSELF, AND A REAL MAN WILL RESPECT YOU.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

    DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

PURITY LESSON - BY DR. HESPEY

PURITY LESSON

LESSON 3

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In This Lecture Of Purity, There Is A Great Need To Touch Reasons Why You Need To Be Purified.

Reasons To Be Purified Are Of Many Categories.

First Of All, Purity Paves The Way To True Intimacy And It’s Risk Free. When You Choose Purity, Its A Sign That You Know And Agree To The Fact That Sex Is Worth Waiting For And That You Are Worth Waiting For.

Another Thing Is That Sexual Purity Let You Know That Aids Doesn’t Discriminate And That Std’s Are Increasing And It Point Out To You That “condom Sense” Is Not Enough.

The Fact Remains That There Is No Such Thing As “safe Sex”, So If You Fail To Choose Purity, You Hereby Loose Worth, Meanwhile If You Choose Purity, It Increases Self-respect And It Encourages Commitment. This Is So, Because Your Future Babies Need A Lot More Than Love Which Is Commitment.

I Must Let You Know That The Decision To Choose Sexual Purity Is Honest And Very Effective. Because During This Decision, No Risk Is Attached And No Regret Later At The End. So You Must Note That Today’s Choices Are Tomorrow’s Future And It Is In God’s Plan For Us To Stay Pure Until Marriage.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

EFFECT OF PREMARITAL SEX - BY DR. HESPEY

​EFFECT OF PREMARITAL SEX

PART ONE

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

CHANGE IN APPEARANCE

When you tell some people about changes in some things, they disagreed, probably because they've not been observing or they've been ignoring the fact about CHANGE. For sexual acts, there used to be differences BEFORE & AFTER.

I don't know if perhaps you've ever noticed how people who have had sex outside of marriage begin to look different? They begin to look OLD, USED and WORN OUT. Like a toy that has been used over and, over again begins to lose its physical appearance, so does a person who continually has sex outside of marriage. Take it or leave it.

Many try to mask this "WORN OUT” look by adding more make-up or wearing more revealing clothes to take the attention off their face and put it on their body.

Many girls who are sexually active and taking birth control gain up to 25 lbs. Meanwhile this unnecessary weight gain can also alter your appearance.

Many ladies personally recognized a change in their physical appearance after losing their virginity probably through their breast or body shape. 

They remember looking through their pictures one day and they came across a picture of themselves during their senior year in high school (AS A VIRGIN), and a picture taken during their freshman year in college (AFTER LOSING THEIR VIRGINITY).

It may sound strange, but somehow they looked harder.

Their face didn’t glow the way it did in their high school pictures and their countenance had changed.

It really hit them at that moment how much of themself they had lost.

Join this December campaign:

#PREMARITAL_SEX_IS_IMPURE

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

PURITY LESSON - BY DR. HESPEY

PURITY LESSON

LESSON 2

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In the first episode of this article, I made mentioned of PURITY as the WILL of God for everyone being. But for purity to take place, there must be commitment. Not just commitment but COMMITMENT TO BE PURIFIED.

Hopefully, What You Have Been Reading Is Starting To Make Sense To You.

You Have Seen Both Sides Of The Coin. You Have Been Able To Weigh The Options and you Have Hopefully Questioned Sexual Purity: To Be Or Not To Be?

When A Marksman Shoots At Nothing, He Will Hit It Every Time. If He Wants Results, He Must Have A Target; A Goal To Aim At.

I Now Ask You To Make Purity Your Goal.

In All Of My Abstinence Presentations, I Make An Appeal To All Those Present Which Involves Taking A Stand Against The Pressures Of Society And Making The Commitment To Stay Pure Until Marriage.

To All Those Willing To Take A Stand Of Sexual Purity, I Ask you To Sign A Card Reading These Words as a form of COMMITMENT:

“Now That I Know That Sexual Purity Starts With Me Regardless Of My Past, I Make A Commitment To Myself, My Family, My Future Mate, And My Future Children To Remain Sexually Pure Until The Day I Enter Marriage!”

As An Online Friend, Associated With My Group (Abstinence Till Marriage (A.T.M), You Have The Chance To Make This Commitment Today.

I Pray The Good Lord Will Help Us All In Jesus Name!!!

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share with friends!!!

To read more, visit: www.drhezpey.wordpress.com or www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALLS)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

COMMITMENT - BY DR. HESPEY

COMMITMENT IN A RELATIONSHIP

STEP 2 TO COMMITMENT

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In my research towards REAL COMMITMENT, I disvovered that after LOVE, LOYALTY TO EACH OTHER AND THE RELATIONSHIP is the next key that must be implemented in a relationship.

Some couples see this as the only commitment needed within a successful relationship, it isn’t a stand alone commitment, but it still remains an ultimate commitment.

Any commitments made with the absence of loyalty will appear to be nothing but hollow, broken promises. What if your partner has hinted, or even made it obvious that they have known other partners better than they know you.

This could be an admission of not being sure about the depth of the relationship or a criticism of your role and actions, prompting the outspoken comparisons. If he/she has talked about, or admitted wanting to get to know other different partners better, this issue needs to be addressed to discover what has instigated these comments and desires.

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

COMMITMENT - BY DR. HESPEY

COMMITMENT IN A RELATIONSHIP

STEP 1 TO COMMITMENT

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In this first step, I will like to talk on LOVE AND RESPECT. In every relationship (be it friendship or intimate relationship), this is the very first thing that surpasses all things. With LOVE as the foundation of everything, it means the presence of the only living God.

For each other and your individual philosophies on life and love.

Ignoring your partner’s hopes and dreams just because they may differ to yours or trying to cancel or absorb someone’s personality is neither love nor respect.

A progressive growing of love and respect between two people sharing their lives but retaining their individuality is more healthy and fulfilling.

Learn to be more RESPECTFUL and sacrifice LOVE in all relationships!!!

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

COMMITMENT - BY DR. HESPEY

COMMITMENT IN A RELATIONSHIP

INTRODUCTORY PART

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

As a young relationship counsellor, I discovered that whichever relationship without a mindful act is actually nothing but of a rough path.

So like we all know, COMMITMENT is a state of being dedicated to a cause or activity, with limitations to what one can do. 

I need to let you know that COMMITMENT cannot be a SINGLE MINDED DECISION, with one partner issuing all the rules and conformities, COMMITMENT has to be a mutual agreement of needs and requirements in a future you want to share together, with commitment levels you present to each other open to compromise and discussion.

Pre-conceived ideas or fears about commitment is understandable and is essentially preparing you to understanding the difference between promise and commitment.

Assess and judge the relationship's progress with an honest appraisal before you attempt to discuss any commitments or the future of the relationships development.

Only then can you have the desired deeper level of the relationship and share honest and fulfilling commitments to each other and nurture the relationships values.

As far as I am concern, I see COMMITMENT as a pathway in a relationship that is mutually acceptable to both aspirants and at levels that you can both honor and fulfill.

So watch out for the incoming tips on it. 

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

PURITY LESSON - BY DR. HESPEY

PURITY LESSON

PART TO GODLINESS

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

PURITY LESSON is something that needs to be examined and discussed about. Because When People Think About What SEXUAL PURITY Is, They Come Up With Ideas Of Rules And Regulations, Things That You Can’t Do.

What Most People Fail To Realize Is That Sexual Purity Is Not About What You Cannot Do, But Instead It Is About What You Choose To Do.

According to 1 Thessalonians 4, it is being noted that SEXUAL PURITY is very important and a priority to holiness & godliness. In this chapter, we were all being urged to santify ourselves and abstain from all forms of sexual immorality. Not just because its of our good alone, but because IT IS THE WILL OF GOD.

So to me as a counsellor, I want us all to see sexual Purity as an OBSCURE GOAL That Must Be Attained. Lets make it an Active Choice Every Day of our lives.

Verse 7 of that chapter said: For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness, in purity & in godliness.

What you must all know is that Sexual Purity doesn't just talk about SEXUAL INTERCOURSE alone, it therefore Applies To Both Our Actions And Our Attitudes.

It Is The Active Choice To Refrain From Sexual Activity Outside The Bonds Of Marriage and before marriage.

Sexual puriry Is The Decision To Guard Your Heart And Mind By Not Allowing Impure Thoughts Or Attitudes to Take Over. And it Is an act of Having Faith That We Are Worthy Of More Than Short-term Pleasures, and That There Is Something Better Planned For Our Lives.

Meanwhile, let me tell you this, Sexual Purity as discussed above doesn’t “just Happen.” We Are Human.

Just as the bible talks about tribulations as a compulsory task in the world, so it is for temptation to always show up against sexual purity.

So for those sexual thoughts, you need to fight, you need to make some sacrifices and you Must Have An Active Part In Choosing To Remain Pure.

One of those things that needs to drive us away from those act is the fear of God. Bece in the verse 8 of that chapter, it states that: Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man, you don't disregard me as the writer, you disregard God, who give his Holy Spirit to you.

So as sons & daughters of God, you need To Realize That There Are More Important Things Than Fulfilling Desires that comes from the mind For A Short-term Gain.

My dear readers who must have been a victim of SEXUAL IMPURITIES, You Have A Choice to make.

You Can Choose Today To Remain Pure Until Marriage. Simply because, It’s Never Too Late.

Heaven Rejoice Over One Sinner That Come To Repentance.

Remember.

The Choice Is Yours!

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

LESSONS ON DIVORCE - BY DR. HESPEY

LESSONS IN DIVORCE

LESSON I

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

This article is just a one-sided article, it a write up belonging to both the married couples and the singles that are planning towards marriage.

There are few things we all need to know about marriage and the effect of DIVORCE on it. We all need to know that Marriage As A Covenant and a soul tying event. It is being organized by God.

So it Should Not Be Surprising That God Declares, In MALACHI 2:16, "I HATE DIVORCE!"

Now what you must know is the major reason Why He Hate Divorce.

One Reason Is That Marriage Is Meant To Be A Special Covenant Between A Man, A Woman, And Their God who is the one that establishes marriages.

By attending some weddings, I discovered that The Vows Which Bound All Marriages Went Like This:

I, (Groom) Take You, (Bride) To Be My Lawful Wedded Wife.

I Promise And declare this Covenant, Before God And These Witnesses,

å To Be Your Loving And Faithful Husband;

å To Stand By You In Riches And In Poverty

å To Stand By You In Joy And In Sorrow

√• To Stand By You In Sickness And In Health, 

å Forsaking All Others, As Long As We Both Shall Live."

When They Spoke These Words, The Man And The Woman Weren't Agreeing To Provide Some Personal Services Via A Contract That Could Be Terminated If One Of Them Defaulted. Instead, They Were Entering Into A Covenant —the Same Type Of Sacred Obligation That God Made With His Children On Several Occasions, Such As With Noah After The Flood.

Any Covenant—including The Marriage Covenant is A Binding and Weighty Obligation.

I will therefore like to end this part with few biblical references that goes thus:
å Proverbs 20:25 I Read, "It Is A Trap For A Man To Dedicate Something Rashly And Only Later To Consider His Vows".
å Deuteronomy 23:23 Says, "You Shall Be Careful To Perform What Goes Out From Your Lips, Just As You Have Voluntarily Vowed To The Lord Your God What You Have Promised."

Jesus Said That "Every Careless Word That Men Shall Speak, They Shall Render Account For It In The Day Of Judgment" Found In (Matthew 12:36).

So what we must all know is that God Takes The WEDDING COVENANT SERIOUSLY, even when we do not and He doesn't give room for DIVORCE.

Be Mindful Of Breaking Any Covenant in order not to invite God's wrath.

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

LESSONS ON DIVORCE - BY DR. HESPEY

LESSONS ON DIVORCE

INTRODUCTORY PART

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

The rate of wrong pre-marriage perspectives and the wrong way out led to the compilation of this article. Because as a young minister, what I discovered is that in Our so called CULTURE Today Many people See DIVORCE As A Positive Solution To Any troubled Marriage.

What I actually want us all to know about marriage & few troubles within it is that in whichever circumstances in marriage, "DIVORCE IS NEVER A SOLUTION, BUT AN EXCHANGE OF PROBLEMS."

In A More Personal Way, NOVELIST PAT CONROY Said Of His Own Marriage Break-up, he said "EACH DIVORCE IS THE DEATH OF A SMALL CIVILIZATION."

In my personal interview from people of such cases around, one Woman said, "OUR DIVORCE HAS BEEN THE MOST PAINFUL, HORRID, ULCER PRODUCING, AGONIZING EVENT YOU CAN IMAGINE.

She Said, I Wish I Could Put On This Piece Of Paper For All The World To See, A Picture Of What Divorce Feels Like. Maybe Her Picture Would Stop People Before It's Too Late."

In this article, we will examine what DIVORVE is, and how to avoid them.

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

REASONS TO JUST SAY NO & CHOOSE SEXUAL ABSTINENCE - BY DR. HESPEY

REASONS TO JUST SAY NO & CHOOSE SEXUAL ABSTINENCE

EPISODE 4

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In this recent day, there are some things of which I discovered that SEXUAL ABSTINENCE offers, if practiced. One of them is that SEXUAL ABSTINENCE MAKE YOU MORE FREE TO ANY CHOICE OF QUESTION THAT HAS TO DO WITH STAYING OR LEAVING A RELATIONSHIP.

This reason why this is so is because exual relationships have the power to strongly unite two people, and can prolong an unhealthy relationship based on physical attraction or the need for security.

In a SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, A person may feel "TRAPPED" in a relationship that they would like to end, but they can’t find their way out and it will be a burden to them.

A person who is not having SEX can more easily break the emotional bond to the other, because there has not been such powerful intimacy on the physical level.

Moreover, if the woman gets pregnant, both partners do not feel as free to decide whether to GET SEPARATED, GET MARRIED, go to WORK, and so on.

BE ABSTAINABLE!!!
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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

SUCCESSFUL & MEMORABLE COURTSHIP - BY DR. HESPEY

SUCCESSFUL & MEMORABLE COURTSHIP

(PART IV)

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

One of those things that is very easy to use as a poison for an existing courtship is DISHONESTY. This is why BEING HONEST TO YOURSELVES is recommended as a key to a successful courtship.

A relationship built on lies is a relationship built on a sandy soil. And as time goes on, it will collapse. Because nothing last forever especially when lies are involved.

A “preacher” once woo her partner through lies in their period of courtship but, regretably, a year after their wedding, the marriage collapsed.

So to have a successful courtship, courting partners must be HONEST to themselves at all costs in all their dealings with each other.

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

   DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

SUCCESSFUL & MEMORABLE COURTSHIP - BY DR. HESPEY

SUCCESSFUL & MEMORABLE COURTSHIP

(PART III)

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In a research, I discovered that BREAKING EVERY SOUL TIE in a courtship is one of the perfect way to make your courtship successful & memorable.

To have a successful courtship, you must be prepared to break up any relationship you have earlier established with any other party that is no more on the GO.

This is because when you maintain two or more relationships at a time, You put demands on your emotion and spirit. And this is the same as FLIRTING or LASCIVIOUSNESS.

As a medical practitioner, I will describe such relationship to be a CANCER to the success of your COURTSHIP and FUTURE MARRIAGE.

To do this, you must pray well and be ready to stand for one person only.

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For enquires/sponsorship/partnership/counsellings: 09097964134 (WHATSAPP) or 07061522492 (VOICE CALL)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

    DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

SUCCESSFUL & MEMORABLE COURTSHIP - BY DR. HESPEY

SUCCESSFUL & MEMORABLE COURTSHIP

(PART II)

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

In the first part of this topic, I mentioned being AVAILABLE as the very first step to a successful venture in relationship. But when you are available, there are some thing you need to implement during that process.

So in this second part, BEING OF SERVICE TO EACH ANOTHER is the next key to whatever thing that needs SUCCESS:
So in order to have a successful courtship, courting partners must be ready to be of service to each other. They must be ready to know each other’s needs and make sacrifices in solving them. 

These services may includes:

Caring for each other,

Spending good time together with godliness as the motive, Praying together for each other, and doing whatever (God's willing things) that will bring joy & happiness to each other within the period of courtship and during marriage. 

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

    DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)

(Founder of Godly Relationship & Advocate Ministry)

THE URGE FOR RELATIONSHIP AT TENDER AGE - BY DR. HESPEY

THE URGE FOR RELATIONSHIP AT TENDER AGE



WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

This days, I see no reason why a very young girl should be bothered about a relationship, especially when the time isn't right. Now, the question is: Why are young people so strongly motivated to have relationships?

What I discovered from a landmark paper by psychologists Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary was that it’s because of a fundamental “NEED TO BELONG.”

The “BELONGINGNESS HYPOTHESIS” states that people have a basic psychological need to feel closely connected to others, and that caring, affectionate bonds from close relationships are a major part of human behavior.

My dear little girl, what you need to know is that relationships are one of those things that can be really good for you, or really bad for you, depending on who you’re in a relationship with or when you started the relationship. And note that a TOXIC relationship can get you killed at its worst. Meanwhile, a healthy partnership can help you achieve your career goals and to have a better family life, and get stability.

The fact is that many societies are taught that a woman’s ultimate goal in life is to be married. And you know what, if that is your ultimate goal, that’s fine. 

​well my dear young lady, I'm happy that you are growing up, dressing well, seeing some adults with their boyfriend/girlfriend and you like it, wishing to have someone with you as well

You may probably have been watching movies and you think love and relationship is really sweet the way it been acted in the movies. And perhaps, many guys may be telling you, you are looking beautiful, you look sexy and the rate at which guys propose to you is high.

Note it my dear, there are some things you need to know, relationship is much more than just being beautiful or be surrounded by guys. You need to wait until the time is ripe for you and don't be so bothered about relationship.

Those guys who come to you for a relationship at your tender age already know that you don't know anything about relationship, and all they want is just to use you and dump you.

They may probably want to have a taste of you since you are still fresh.

Don't be so carried away my dear when a guy utter the sentence "I LOVE YOU". Instead keep yourself holy, keep yourself away from relationships. Forget those guys whether teenagers like you or adult asking you out and promising you heaven and earth.

When the right time comes, you will meet the man of your dream, your husband will be very happy to see you as a virgin and God almighty will surely reward you for keeping his words.

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL

     DR. HESPEY (2017)

(Author of Building The Godly Youth)