LOVE OR INFATUATION? - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INFATUATION OR LOVE?

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

Love and infatuation has been recorded to be a major part in the causes of most broken relationships, which brings about being used, being dumped, heartbreaks & lots more. Here today, we will be looking at how to categorize & line out the major differences between these two words. And furthermore more, we will answer and explain some questions in full details.

DEFINITION:

But first, let's begin with some definitions: The Merriam-Webster dictionary's definitions of love and infatuation are very much simple, understandable & well defined: first, it says: LOVE Is "A Warm Attachment, Enthusiasm, Or Devotion To Another Person," while INFATUATION on the other hand is "a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something."

Basically, love is a deep, committed attachment to someone, while infatuation is a shallow-imagination of love.

Now one of the questions that is likely to cross your mind as you read is: What then are the signs of love and infatuation?

In real sense and in medical, we believe that whatsoever happens must have come with diverse of signs or symptoms. One of the major sign of infatuation is that it tends to happen at the beginning of relationships. It is usually marked by a sense of excitement and great happiness, and it's often accompanied by lust and a feeling of newness, elation and rapid expansion with a person.

Now to the most common signs: to a counsellor like us, if you're the type that feels obsessive, irrationally excited, and, the worst, really horny, then you're probably in the infatuation phase of love. Infatuation in its occurrence mostly makes you feel great, in fact, you may also feel slightly insecure because things are so new and they aren't real.

But my dear, when it is love, there's a bond in there, there's a commitment, there's a connection (whether physical or spiritual). Love tends to be something that is in form of a construction process, it takes place over a long period of time, where you commence with a foundation laying, a process where you commence getting to know somebody and you're building a connection. It is a process where you try creating an emotional safety, and you're able to portray an act that shows you can be easily hurt or harmed and open to attack with the person involved.

When you love someone, you know personal details about them, even their worst past or present (whether hearing it from the person or finding it out yourself) and you still feel safe staying and being open about yourself as well, But, love and infatuation are not mutually exclusive, because most people in a relationship are infatuated with their partners to a certain degree (once the limit is reached, then it opens that they aren't in love).

Now the next question that is likely to cross your mind at this point is: Is infatuation constructive or destructive?

To my knowledge base on this counselling career so far, infatuation in most cases is sometimes constructive when it receive a second wave, and on the other hand, it is destructive when it's being declined." Basically, if you and your partner both have the new relationship on a higher level, that's great! But if you're dealing with love that's not being returned, you should probably let it go, it signifies infatuation.

Times without number, the question as to whether infatuation later turning out to love is possible has been asked.

From the above paragraph, infatuation phase can actually change and turn into a loving, committed, dedicated and long-lasting relationship, but the time frame and probability for such occurrence is never to be predicted. Now the real deal is that, when you're in love with somebody or infatuated with somebody, you stop seeking others and you focus just on that person. Only time will tell really if infatuation will develop into a long-term attachment and sense of love.

CONCLUSION:

However, if you later discover that you've been in an infatuated relationship and you're sure that God is still leading you there, there are certain things we can actually recommend that you should do to strengthen your relationship and move it from the destructive phase to a constructive phase.

Firstly, give your relationship some time, like I said in the above paragraph, it's probability & occurrence is unpredictable, things won't happen overnight.

Secondly, Communication is always important in a relationship, and so is knowing when to reach a concession. But overall, a sense of commitment, dedication, selflessness and willingness to the relationship is what will create the attachment needed to fall in love and get it moving rightly.

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    DR. HESPEY

YOUR GAIN AFTER AN ABORTION - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

YOUR GAIN AFTER AN ABORTION

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

It occurs to me that knowing the truth isn't the same as implementing the truth already known. Many ladies know abstinence until marriage to be the best option, but the act of sexual indulgence is being practice because abortion exist in their dictionary.

Abortion as generally known is the medical process (either by pill or surgery) of ending a pregnancy so it does not result in the birth of a baby.

Research has just shed more light on the disadvantages of having an abortion and what you stand to gain after its indulgence.

According to The Foundation for Africa Cultural Heritage, CANCER is now one of the risks associated with undergoing an abortion.

According to FACH president, Dr. Nkechi Asogwa, many cases of breast cancer have been linked to the aftermath of an abortion.

According to her:

“When you terminate a pregnancy you end many ongoing processes in the body such as the preparation of breast for the secretion of milk. So the tissues that were cut off suddenly would become fragile and they can trigger the formation of cancerous cells in the breast.

Side effects may occur with induced abortion, whether surgical or by pill.

MEDICAL IMPACT OF ABORTION:

These side effects include the followings: abdominal pain and cramping, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.

Abortion also carries the risk of significant complications such as bleeding, infection, and damage to organs. Enquiries shows that serious complications occur in less than 1 out of 100 early abortions and in about 1 out of every 50 later abortions. Those serious Complications may include:

Heavy Bleeding, Infection, Incomplete Abortion (leading to more complications as far as sonography is concern), Damage to the Cervix, Scarring of the Uterine Lining, Perforation of the Uterus and in the end Damage to Internal Organs or Death.

EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF ABORTION:

There is evidence that abortion is associated with a decrease in both emotional and physical health. For some women these negative emotions may be very strong, and can appear within days or after many years. This psychological response is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

symptoms that may likely show up after this process includes:

1. Eating disorders.

2. Relationship problems.

3. Guilt.

4. Depression

5.Flashbacks of abortion.

6. Suicidal thoughts.

7. Sexual dysfunction &

8. Spiritual Consequences.

In real sense, today's article isn't coming to scare you, but to give you an insight of how to make the right decision.

In every of the aforementioned impacts of Abortion, no effect relating to whichever guy you had sex with is involved. Then think about it, who loses in the end?

Stay safe and help yourself to be healthy and enjoy life.

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    DR. HESPEY

DARLING SISTERS: GOD IS SAYING, "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

DARLING SISTERS: GOD IS SAYING, "YOU ARE NOT ALONE"

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

Recovering from sexual assault takes time, and the healing process can be painful. But dear sisters, you can regain your sense of control, earn more value, rebuild your self-worth, and learn to get healed.

MAJOR LESSONS:

Regardless of age or gender, the impact of sexual violence goes far beyond any physical injuries. The trauma of being raped or sexually assaulted can be shattering, leaving you feeling scared, ashamed, and alone or plagued by nightmares, memories, and other unpleasant memories. The world doesn’t feel like a safe place anymore. You no longer trust others. You don’t even trust yourself. You may question your judgment, your self-worth, and even your sanity. You may blame yourself for what happened or believe that you’re “dirty” or “damaged goods.” The trauma of being raped sometimes make relationships feel dangerous & it in turn in most cases makes intimacy impossible. And on top of that, like many rape survivors, you may struggle with PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

I need to let you know that what you’re experiencing is a normal reaction to trauma. Your feelings of helplessness, shame, defectiveness, and self-blame are symptoms, not reality. No matter how difficult it may seem, with these article, you can come to terms with what happened, regain your sense of safety and trust, and learn to heal and proceed.

CONSOLATION MESSAGE:

Being raped is a worst crime, but nonetheless, it doesn't worth ending your life because of its shame, agony & what have you.

My message to you today is simple, God hasn't been silent over your case, He is telling to tell you these:

- KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE:

Psalm 9:9 promises us that “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”

What happened to you wasn't at your will, you were held & assaulted. But Your pain, fear, anger, and sadness are not too much for God. God still loves you today just as much as He did the day He created you. God sees you in your pain and grieves with you, just like He does for all of His children.

After being physically and emotionally abused, a woman named Hagar finally decided she couldn’t take it anymore. She runs away, but in Genesis 16, an angel of the Lord meets her along the road and tells her that her story isn’t over. “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me’” (Genesis 16:13).

God wants to comfort you and heal you, even if you’re angry at Him. If you’re mad at God, tell Him. He can take it. Pour out all your emotions. Don’t hold anything back. God will meet you in your pain. Just like He promises in Psalm 147:3, “[The Lord] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

- BELIEVE IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT:

It can be easy to think, Well, maybe I should have done this or that, then this wouldn’t have happened. 

Your mode of dressing actually isn't the major cause of it. Though what you wear actually matter, but it doesn't matter what you were doing. Rape and sexual assault are never your fault. Even if your attacker says, “You made me do it,” it’s not your fault.

At the time when God wrote the first rules for His people, women were considered a man’s property. God’s laws set Israel apart from its neighboring countries by elevating a woman’s status and protecting her. The punishment for rape was death for the rapist. The punishment for adultery was death of both parties involved, but God makes a distinction for rape: “Only the man who has done this shall die. Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death” (Deuteronomy 22:25-26).

Nothing you can do would ever make rape or assault your fault, God already made that clear in His laws from the beginning. You did not deserve it. Rape is a sin, but it’s not your sin; it’s the sin of the person who harmed you against your will. 

- BELIEVE YOU ARE STILL VALUABLE:

Rape victim is not who you are. You are a son or daughter of the God who made the universe. 

Your value comes from God not from the act. He created you, and He is the only one who can define you. You are not dirty or used up. You were fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God (Psalm 139).

God proved His love for you and your value to Him by sending His Son to earth to remove the sin gap between God and His people once and for all. Just consider the beginning of one of the most famous verses in the Bible, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).  

If you have never asked Jesus into your life, reading this, let Him meet you where you are right now. Through Jesus, we’re able to have a relationship with God, which comes with some incredible benefits which comprises of hope and healing for today and forever. 

- YOU ARE STILL IN A SAFE PLACE:

Being rapes in the church or mosque doesn't signify that the place isn't a place of refuge anymore. It doesn't say God has failed us. Sometimes, we feel like we have to get our stuff together before we can come to church. But one way God speaks to us, heals us and comforts us is through His people. When you’ve experienced a trauma like rape, you need to connect with other Christians who love you and will walk through this with you with trust. 

Healing happens as we bring the dark parts of our past into the light. One of Jesus’ close friends, John, describes how this works, writing, “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:5-7).

When we keep what was done to us to ourselves, we give the hurt, the pain, and the shame the perfect place to grow, taking over our hearts like mold spores multiplying in darkness. To move forward requires us to open the door to our hearts, allowing Jesus and others to shed light on the sins committed against us and the lies we believed about them.

BRIEFED WAYS OUT OF THE TRAUMA:

1. Discussing The Rape Incidence With Someone Trustworthy.

2. Assure Yourself That It's Not Your Fault.

3. Don't Beat Yourself So Hard Over Its Remembrance.

4. Bring Your Soul Back To Life By Being Strong Again.

5. Enjoin Yourself In The Circle Of Most Trusted Ones.

6. Breed Yourself Not To Be Breed.

Thanks for reading!!!

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    DR. HESPEY

RAPE: THE INHUMANE ACT & OUR RESPONSIBILITIES - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

RAPE: THE INHUMANE ACT & OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:

Rape as it is known by sensible ones is an illegal act of sexual intercourse with an individual without his or her consent, it can either be via force or the threat of force.

In many jurisdictions, the crime of rape has been considered to be an act of sexual assault, which also encompasses acts that fall short of intercourse.

Rape was long considered to be caused by uncontrolled sexual desire, but it is now understood as a pathological assertion of power over a victim.

BIBLICAL INSIGHTS:

It is very glaring that the Bible never covers up neither does it ignores sexual assault. In the real fact, biblical law shows how the Lord takes up the cause of the victim and the vulnerable. The book of Deuteronomy 22:25-27 safeguarded the survivor of sexual assault from being unjustly blamed or ignored. In ancient Israel, this law established a pattern, an ethical framework by which God’s people could discern specific situations that it didn’t specifically address. And like all of God’s laws, it reveals his characters.

The two rape case I will like to refer to in the Bible are that of The Unnamed Concubine in Judges 19, and Tamar in 2 Samuel 13.

Biblical law was revolutionary for the dignity of women. The Scripture we read recognized rape as a violent crime. In fact, biblical law considers rape in the same vein with murder. In this case, a rape victim was the non-consenting victim of premeditated violence. The attacker alone is held guilty. Because she was overpowered and did not consent and this make the victim to be considered blameless.

Consent is the key factor here. Many women who have been assaulted share how they froze during the attack. They couldn’t move. They couldn’t even scream. And they didn’t even understand why. In the aftermath, they wonder if they did something wrong. I believe this passage of Scripture comes to their defense. The issue was not how the woman expressed her lack of consent. The issue was that she did not consent. She was overpowered, exploited, and unwilling. And, according to the principle expressed in this law, she was innocent.

OUR RESPONSIBILITIES:

For the Israelite woman who was raped, this text ensured that she was heard, that She was believed and given justice. These laws created an environment in which a survivor of assault already knew that she would be safe and protected by the community. In our own communities, this should reinforce our responsibility to treat accusations of rape as credible.

God was not silent about rape. He defended the woman who had been sexually assaulted. He believed and protected her. And so must we.

Don't be silent as parents & guardians, teaching your girl-child ways by which she can avoid being a victim is not enough. Teach your male-child to learn to value women. Teach them to be considerate by putting their sisters into the shoe of whoever has been raped. Let them know it's just a few minutes fun to them, but a lifelong agony to the victim. And most importantly, let them know what God require of them. Make them shun sexual assaults at all cost.

Thanks for reading!!!

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     DR. HESPEY (2020)

PREMARITAL SEX: THE BODY DOWNGRADER - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

PREMARITAL SEX: THE BODY DOWNGRADER

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:
Shayo, A Young Talented Lady Was In A State Of Confusion About Certain Things In Her Life When She Started The University. Shayo Is Very Attractive, And Young Men Invites Her Out On Many Occasions. She Soon Discovered That Most Of Them Expected Intercourse In Exchange For Just A Date. But Shayo Is A Christian, Who Doesn’t Believe In Casual Sleeping Around And She Felt Isolated And Lonely.
Was Shayo Wrong To Have Stick To Her Christian Principles? How Long Can She Cope With Being The Only Girl On Her Corridor Who Isn’t Sleeping With Her Boyfriend? What Will Happen When She Finds Herself Overwhelmed By Sexual Desire?

As A Student Of The Best State University In Nigeria, Some Student Known To Me Found Themselves Equally Baffled. Most Of Their Colleagues, Too, Paired Off And Slept Together. Some Lived Together. Should These Young & Single Adults Similarly Indulge In Free Sex? Some Did And They Felt Guilty. Others Abstained And Exposed Themselves To Cruel Jibes. “You Are Wet.” “Are You A Lesbian?”
Such Taunts Sting. This Hurt Prompted Them To Organize A Campaign In Which They Invited Us To Examine These Pressing Questions.
1. “Is Sex Before Marriage All Right? If Not, What Biblical Teaching Is There?”
2. “Is There Anything Wrong With Sleeping Around?”
3. “Does Sleeping Around Really Downgrade Its Victim?”

Major Lessons:
Sleeping Around As A Teenager Or Youth Who Isn’t Married (Including Committing Adultery) Is An Insult To Your Body Because You Are Not A Toy, A Thing To Be Used, Played With And Discarded. Your Body Is A Part Of The Glory Of God’s Creation, Stamped With His Hallmark, With Dignity And Honour.
Moreover, Your Body Is A Temple Of The Holy Spirit, The Place Where Jesus Resides, Which Is Sacred For His Use. Can A Christian Therefore Contemplate Involving The Indwelling Spirit In A Disposable, Incomplete, Shallow Sexual Relationship? Isn’t It Unthinkable?
It Is Unthinkable Until You Find Yourself Powerfully Drawn To A Person Of The Opposite Sex. Then What? What If The Desire To Give Your Body To Another Is Strong? Paul’s Response To That Problem Is The Reminder That “You Are Not Your Own Property, You Have Been Bought And Paid For”.
Our Bodies Are Not Ours To Prostitute. They Have Been Purchased By Christ’s Sacrifice On The Cross Of Calvary. For What Purpose? “God Did Not Call Us To Live In Immorality, But In Holiness” Just As Found In The Book Of (1 Thessalonians 4:7).

When You Are Tempted To Sleep With Your Partner Before You Are Married, Will You Remind Yourself That To Do So Would Be To Defile Your Body, God’s Property & To Act Contrary To God’s Love?
Sexual Intercourse Seals The Permanent Union Contracted Between Husband And Wife. It Illustrates, In A Physical, Biological Way, The Unity To Which They Have Committed Themselves Socially, Spiritually, Emotionally, In Relationship To One Another And The Community.
It Is Also Symbolic Of The Eternal Union Which Exists Between Christ And The Church. Are You Prepared To Mock This Rich Symbolism By Indulging In The One-night Stand, Casual Sex, Intercourse As A Thank-you For A Happy Evening? You May Try, But If You Do You Attempt The Impossible.
As Paul Emphasizes In 1 Corinthians 6:15, Sexual Intercourse Unites Persons In A Deep, Inextricable, Irrevocable Union. There Is, Therefore, No Such Thing As Casual Sex. Even If You “Use” A Prostitute, You Become One With Her.

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     DR. HESPEY

RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:
Myself As A Counsellor, I Have Gone Through So Persecution All In The Name Preaching And Teaching About Sexual Abstinence. I Could Remember A Statement That Came From A Friend Back Then During My First Year In The University, He Said "HESPEY, ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN'T A CASTRATED BEING?"
From Merriam Webster Dictionary, To Be Castrated Means To Be Rendered Impotent Or Deprive Of Vitality Especially By Psychological Means. But The Truth Is, I Am Not Castrated.
As Mammals, I Know We All Have Similar Carnal Desires. But, As Humans Created Of God, We Have The Ability To Choose Whether To Pursue Our Urges Or Decline Them. When We Succumb To Temptation It’s Because Our Desire To Indulge Is Greater Than Our Desire To Resist. We Choose What We Do.
We Are Biologically Driven To Pair And Bond For Life. But, I Don’t Believe Monogamy Is Such A Genetic Gift. Monogamy Is A Vow You Make With Your Partner And God. The Biological Urge To Reproduce Has Brought Us To This Point Regarding Population And Promiscuity. That Drive Is So Strong It Has Undermined Some Of The Most Successful People That Walked This Planet. So Here Today, We Bring You Ways By Which You Can Be A Good Decision Maker Regards Sexual Abstinence.

WAYS IN RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX:

Commitment Is A Discipline A Good Man Possesses. Here Is Guidance To Assist Anyone Who May Have An Urge They Would Rather Not Entertain Because Of Fidelity, Love, And Vows.

- DISCIPLINE:
To Some, This Looks Harmful? But Let Me Tell You It's Not. This Is A Part Of The Fruit Of The Spirit As Mentioned In The Book Of Galatians 5:23 Known As Temperance Or Self Control.
Discipline Is Not Harmful. It Is Not The Same As Repression, Because It Doesn't Involve Force. Repression Harms People Because It Means Forcing Or Pushing Feelings Firmly Into The Subconscious, Then Living As Though The Feelings Do Not Exist. This Pretense Is Just For A While. These Feelings Will Spring Out Again, But In A Disguised Form. Clearly Repression Is Unhealthy.
Our Major Way Of Battling Premarital Sex Is By Being Disciplined Or Being Able To Control One's Urges. Discipline Never Involves Sweeping Feelings Into A Dark Corner. Discipline Is Seen When The Understanding Adults Listens To The Complaints Of Each Other, Interprets Them Accurately And Meets The Real Rather Than The Expressed Needs. In Other Words, When You And Your Partner Discipline Yourselves, You Listen To Your Own Feelings With Sensitivity But You Do Not Give In To Every Desire.
This Discipline Need Not To Be Mournful. It Can Be Exciting, For Instance, Deciding Not To Peep Inside Parcels Until Christmas Day.
This Discipline Is Healthy, Joyful, Balanced. It Adds Dignity To Yourself, Your Partner And Your Sexuality And Most Importantly, It Brings You Closer To God. And This Literarily Means You Are No Longer Enslaved By Sexual Desire. You Control It.

CONCLUSION:
God Does Not Ask You To Control It Alone. He Gives The Holy Spirit To Strengthen Our Moral Fibre When Resolve Is Weak. I Think This Is What Paul Implies In 1 Thessalonians 4:8. It Is Only The Indwelling Spirit Of Jesus Who Enables Us To Walk Unscathed Through The Heat Of Passionate Desire. He Is The One Who Cultivates The Patience We Need To Receive God's Gifts In God's Time, Including The Gift Of Sexual Fulfillment In Marriage.
He Is The One Who Produces The Self-control Which Dogged Determination On Its Own Fails To Produce. And He Is The One Who Causes The Fruit Of Gentleness, Kindness And Responsible Love To Grow Within Us; Those Qualities Which Refuse Us Permission To Abuse Our Own Body Or The Body Of Another.
When The Strength Of Sexual Desire Renders Us Helpless, It Casts Us Back On God's Unfailing Help. Then In Our Weakness We Become Strong. For Discipline Shot Through By The Grace Of God Results In Joyful Obedience, In Sexual Battles Won.

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     DR. HESPEY (2020)

CATEGORIES & LESSONS OF VIRGINITY - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

CATEGORIES & LESSONS OF VIRGINITY

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

DEFINITION:
A Virgin Is Someone Who’s Never Had Vagina Sex. But People Define “sex” And “losing Virginity” In Many Different Ways. A Virgin Is Someone Who Has Never Had Sex, But It’s Not Quite As Simple As It Seems. That’s Because Sex Means Different Things To Different People, So Virginity Can Mean Different Things, Too.
A Lot Of People Think That Having Penis-into-vagina Sex For The First Time Is How You Lose Your Virginity. But This Leaves Lots Of People And Other Types Of Sex Out Of The Picture. Some People Haven’t Had Penis-into-vagina Sex, But They’ve Had Other Kinds Of Sex (Like Oral Sex Or Anal Sex) And They May Or May Not See Themselves As Virgins. And There Are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Or Pansexual People Who May Never Have Penis-into-vagina Sex At All. But They Probably Don't See Themselves As Lifelong Virgins Just Because They Haven’t Had Penis-into-vagina Sex.
Many People Believe Rape And Sexual Assault Aren’t Sex, They Believe It’s Only Sex If Both Partners Have Consent. So If Someone Was Forced Or Pressured The First Time They Had Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Or Anal Sex, They May Not See That As “losing Their Virginity.”

The Definition Of Virginity Is Complicated, And It’s Really Up To You To Decide What You Believe. Some People Don't Even Care What “virginity” Means Or Think It Matters. Stressing About Whether You’re A Virgin Is Way Less Important Than How You Feel About Your Sexual Experiences. Ask Yourself: Are You Happy With The Sexual Experiences You've Had Or Decided Not To Have Or Will God Be Happy?

The Key Point In Our Article Today Is To Categorize Virginity and advice you on the best way to go about it.

- PRIMARY VIRGINITY:
This Is Also Known As Physical Or Natural Virginity. Here The Person Has Never Had Penis-into-vagina Sex. In Women, The Visible Evidence Of This Type Of Virginity Is The Bleeding That Occurs During First Intercourse Which Usually Leads To The Broken Hymen, Though Not In All
Cases Because Sex Is Not The Only Way Through
Which A Woman’s Hymen May Be Broken. It Is Actually The Breaking Of This Hymen At First Intercourse That Causes The Bleeding & Lose Of Virginity.
If A Woman, Therefore, Does Not Bleed At Her First
Intercourse, It Does Not Necessarily Mean That She Is Not A Virgin. A Girl’s Hymen, According To Bruce And Carol Britten (Answer For Your Marriage, 2001) May Break Without Sex, But During Sports, Or When She Uses Menstrual Tampon (A French Word For An Absorbent Plug Of Cotton Wool Inserted Into The Vagina During Menstruation). In Fact Some Girls Are Said To Be Born Without Hymen.

- SECONDARY VIRGINITY:
Secondary Virginity Otherwise Known As Moral
Virginity Is Different From Primary Virginity In The Sense That Physically The Person Is No More A Virgin Because He Or She Has Had Sex At Least Once, Either Freely By Choice Or Forcefully Through Sexual Abuse.
Choosing Sexual Abstinence After An Intentional Or Unintentional Penis-into-vagina Sex Is What Secondary Virginity Is All About.
This Type Of Virginity Is Also Known As Spiritual Or Decisive Virginity. ‘it Depicts,’ In The Words Of Kenneth Onyeme, ‘a Repentant And Purified Person’.

LESSONS:
Choosing To Have Sex For The First Time Is A Big Decision That’s Very Personal. People Think About Lots Of Different Things: Religious, Spiritual, And Moral Beliefs; Family And Personal Values; Desire; Love; And/Or Relationships. Whatever Your Reason Is, It's Important To Wait Until You're Sure You're Ready To Have Sex And The Best Time For That Is During Marriage On Your Marital Bed With Your Partner.
In My Counselling Career, I've Come Across Lots Of Teens Who've Had Sex That Says "They Wish They Had Waited".
If You’ve Already Started Having Sex And Want To Stop, That's Totally Okay, Just Because You've Had Sex Before Doesn't Mean You Have To Do It Again, And Just Because A Lot Of People Around You Are Doing It Doesn't Make It Right At All Time. People Can Be Sexually Abstinent (Not Have Sex) At Any Time, For Any Reason. And Some People Choose To Never Have Sex, That’s Totally Okay, Too.

CONCLUSION:
Try Not To Worry Too Much About What Other People Do. When You Lose Your Virginity Isn’t As Big A Deal As Making Sure You And Your Partner Are Ready For Sex. If You Have Sex Just To Fit In When You Aren't Married, It Probably Won’t Be A Very Good Experience Between You ,G Your Maker. It’s Better To Wait To Have Sex Until You Feel Totally Ready And Are Prepared For Some Of The Possible Consequences Of Sex Unwanted Pregnancy & Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

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