INFATUATION OR LOVE?
INTRODUCTION:
Love and infatuation has been recorded to be a major part in the causes of most broken relationships, which brings about being used, being dumped, heartbreaks & lots more. Here today, we will be looking at how to categorize & line out the major differences between these two words. And furthermore more, we will answer and explain some questions in full details.
DEFINITION:
But first, let's begin with some definitions: The Merriam-Webster dictionary's definitions of love and infatuation are very much simple, understandable & well defined: first, it says: LOVE Is "A Warm Attachment, Enthusiasm, Or Devotion To Another Person," while INFATUATION on the other hand is "a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something."
Basically, love is a deep, committed attachment to someone, while infatuation is a shallow-imagination of love.
Now one of the questions that is likely to cross your mind as you read is: What then are the signs of love and infatuation?
In real sense and in medical, we believe that whatsoever happens must have come with diverse of signs or symptoms. One of the major sign of infatuation is that it tends to happen at the beginning of relationships. It is usually marked by a sense of excitement and great happiness, and it's often accompanied by lust and a feeling of newness, elation and rapid expansion with a person.
Now to the most common signs: to a counsellor like us, if you're the type that feels obsessive, irrationally excited, and, the worst, really horny, then you're probably in the infatuation phase of love. Infatuation in its occurrence mostly makes you feel great, in fact, you may also feel slightly insecure because things are so new and they aren't real.
But my dear, when it is love, there's a bond in there, there's a commitment, there's a connection (whether physical or spiritual). Love tends to be something that is in form of a construction process, it takes place over a long period of time, where you commence with a foundation laying, a process where you commence getting to know somebody and you're building a connection. It is a process where you try creating an emotional safety, and you're able to portray an act that shows you can be easily hurt or harmed and open to attack with the person involved.
When you love someone, you know personal details about them, even their worst past or present (whether hearing it from the person or finding it out yourself) and you still feel safe staying and being open about yourself as well, But, love and infatuation are not mutually exclusive, because most people in a relationship are infatuated with their partners to a certain degree (once the limit is reached, then it opens that they aren't in love).
Now the next question that is likely to cross your mind at this point is: Is infatuation constructive or destructive?
To my knowledge base on this counselling career so far, infatuation in most cases is sometimes constructive when it receive a second wave, and on the other hand, it is destructive when it's being declined." Basically, if you and your partner both have the new relationship on a higher level, that's great! But if you're dealing with love that's not being returned, you should probably let it go, it signifies infatuation.
Times without number, the question as to whether infatuation later turning out to love is possible has been asked.
From the above paragraph, infatuation phase can actually change and turn into a loving, committed, dedicated and long-lasting relationship, but the time frame and probability for such occurrence is never to be predicted. Now the real deal is that, when you're in love with somebody or infatuated with somebody, you stop seeking others and you focus just on that person. Only time will tell really if infatuation will develop into a long-term attachment and sense of love.
CONCLUSION:
However, if you later discover that you've been in an infatuated relationship and you're sure that God is still leading you there, there are certain things we can actually recommend that you should do to strengthen your relationship and move it from the destructive phase to a constructive phase.
Firstly, give your relationship some time, like I said in the above paragraph, it's probability & occurrence is unpredictable, things won't happen overnight.
Secondly, Communication is always important in a relationship, and so is knowing when to reach a concession. But overall, a sense of commitment, dedication, selflessness and willingness to the relationship is what will create the attachment needed to fall in love and get it moving rightly.
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DR. HESPEY
