RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

INTRODUCTION:
Myself As A Counsellor, I Have Gone Through So Persecution All In The Name Preaching And Teaching About Sexual Abstinence. I Could Remember A Statement That Came From A Friend Back Then During My First Year In The University, He Said "HESPEY, ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN'T A CASTRATED BEING?"
From Merriam Webster Dictionary, To Be Castrated Means To Be Rendered Impotent Or Deprive Of Vitality Especially By Psychological Means. But The Truth Is, I Am Not Castrated.
As Mammals, I Know We All Have Similar Carnal Desires. But, As Humans Created Of God, We Have The Ability To Choose Whether To Pursue Our Urges Or Decline Them. When We Succumb To Temptation It’s Because Our Desire To Indulge Is Greater Than Our Desire To Resist. We Choose What We Do.
We Are Biologically Driven To Pair And Bond For Life. But, I Don’t Believe Monogamy Is Such A Genetic Gift. Monogamy Is A Vow You Make With Your Partner And God. The Biological Urge To Reproduce Has Brought Us To This Point Regarding Population And Promiscuity. That Drive Is So Strong It Has Undermined Some Of The Most Successful People That Walked This Planet. So Here Today, We Bring You Ways By Which You Can Be A Good Decision Maker Regards Sexual Abstinence.

WAYS IN RESTRAINING PREMARITAL SEX:

Commitment Is A Discipline A Good Man Possesses. Here Is Guidance To Assist Anyone Who May Have An Urge They Would Rather Not Entertain Because Of Fidelity, Love, And Vows.

- DISCIPLINE:
To Some, This Looks Harmful? But Let Me Tell You It's Not. This Is A Part Of The Fruit Of The Spirit As Mentioned In The Book Of Galatians 5:23 Known As Temperance Or Self Control.
Discipline Is Not Harmful. It Is Not The Same As Repression, Because It Doesn't Involve Force. Repression Harms People Because It Means Forcing Or Pushing Feelings Firmly Into The Subconscious, Then Living As Though The Feelings Do Not Exist. This Pretense Is Just For A While. These Feelings Will Spring Out Again, But In A Disguised Form. Clearly Repression Is Unhealthy.
Our Major Way Of Battling Premarital Sex Is By Being Disciplined Or Being Able To Control One's Urges. Discipline Never Involves Sweeping Feelings Into A Dark Corner. Discipline Is Seen When The Understanding Adults Listens To The Complaints Of Each Other, Interprets Them Accurately And Meets The Real Rather Than The Expressed Needs. In Other Words, When You And Your Partner Discipline Yourselves, You Listen To Your Own Feelings With Sensitivity But You Do Not Give In To Every Desire.
This Discipline Need Not To Be Mournful. It Can Be Exciting, For Instance, Deciding Not To Peep Inside Parcels Until Christmas Day.
This Discipline Is Healthy, Joyful, Balanced. It Adds Dignity To Yourself, Your Partner And Your Sexuality And Most Importantly, It Brings You Closer To God. And This Literarily Means You Are No Longer Enslaved By Sexual Desire. You Control It.

CONCLUSION:
God Does Not Ask You To Control It Alone. He Gives The Holy Spirit To Strengthen Our Moral Fibre When Resolve Is Weak. I Think This Is What Paul Implies In 1 Thessalonians 4:8. It Is Only The Indwelling Spirit Of Jesus Who Enables Us To Walk Unscathed Through The Heat Of Passionate Desire. He Is The One Who Cultivates The Patience We Need To Receive God's Gifts In God's Time, Including The Gift Of Sexual Fulfillment In Marriage.
He Is The One Who Produces The Self-control Which Dogged Determination On Its Own Fails To Produce. And He Is The One Who Causes The Fruit Of Gentleness, Kindness And Responsible Love To Grow Within Us; Those Qualities Which Refuse Us Permission To Abuse Our Own Body Or The Body Of Another.
When The Strength Of Sexual Desire Renders Us Helpless, It Casts Us Back On God's Unfailing Help. Then In Our Weakness We Become Strong. For Discipline Shot Through By The Grace Of God Results In Joyful Obedience, In Sexual Battles Won.

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© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL
     DR. HESPEY (2020)

CATEGORIES & LESSONS OF VIRGINITY - WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

CATEGORIES & LESSONS OF VIRGINITY

WRITTEN BY DR. HESPEY

DEFINITION:
A Virgin Is Someone Who’s Never Had Vagina Sex. But People Define “sex” And “losing Virginity” In Many Different Ways. A Virgin Is Someone Who Has Never Had Sex, But It’s Not Quite As Simple As It Seems. That’s Because Sex Means Different Things To Different People, So Virginity Can Mean Different Things, Too.
A Lot Of People Think That Having Penis-into-vagina Sex For The First Time Is How You Lose Your Virginity. But This Leaves Lots Of People And Other Types Of Sex Out Of The Picture. Some People Haven’t Had Penis-into-vagina Sex, But They’ve Had Other Kinds Of Sex (Like Oral Sex Or Anal Sex) And They May Or May Not See Themselves As Virgins. And There Are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Or Pansexual People Who May Never Have Penis-into-vagina Sex At All. But They Probably Don't See Themselves As Lifelong Virgins Just Because They Haven’t Had Penis-into-vagina Sex.
Many People Believe Rape And Sexual Assault Aren’t Sex, They Believe It’s Only Sex If Both Partners Have Consent. So If Someone Was Forced Or Pressured The First Time They Had Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Or Anal Sex, They May Not See That As “losing Their Virginity.”

The Definition Of Virginity Is Complicated, And It’s Really Up To You To Decide What You Believe. Some People Don't Even Care What “virginity” Means Or Think It Matters. Stressing About Whether You’re A Virgin Is Way Less Important Than How You Feel About Your Sexual Experiences. Ask Yourself: Are You Happy With The Sexual Experiences You've Had Or Decided Not To Have Or Will God Be Happy?

The Key Point In Our Article Today Is To Categorize Virginity and advice you on the best way to go about it.

- PRIMARY VIRGINITY:
This Is Also Known As Physical Or Natural Virginity. Here The Person Has Never Had Penis-into-vagina Sex. In Women, The Visible Evidence Of This Type Of Virginity Is The Bleeding That Occurs During First Intercourse Which Usually Leads To The Broken Hymen, Though Not In All
Cases Because Sex Is Not The Only Way Through
Which A Woman’s Hymen May Be Broken. It Is Actually The Breaking Of This Hymen At First Intercourse That Causes The Bleeding & Lose Of Virginity.
If A Woman, Therefore, Does Not Bleed At Her First
Intercourse, It Does Not Necessarily Mean That She Is Not A Virgin. A Girl’s Hymen, According To Bruce And Carol Britten (Answer For Your Marriage, 2001) May Break Without Sex, But During Sports, Or When She Uses Menstrual Tampon (A French Word For An Absorbent Plug Of Cotton Wool Inserted Into The Vagina During Menstruation). In Fact Some Girls Are Said To Be Born Without Hymen.

- SECONDARY VIRGINITY:
Secondary Virginity Otherwise Known As Moral
Virginity Is Different From Primary Virginity In The Sense That Physically The Person Is No More A Virgin Because He Or She Has Had Sex At Least Once, Either Freely By Choice Or Forcefully Through Sexual Abuse.
Choosing Sexual Abstinence After An Intentional Or Unintentional Penis-into-vagina Sex Is What Secondary Virginity Is All About.
This Type Of Virginity Is Also Known As Spiritual Or Decisive Virginity. ‘it Depicts,’ In The Words Of Kenneth Onyeme, ‘a Repentant And Purified Person’.

LESSONS:
Choosing To Have Sex For The First Time Is A Big Decision That’s Very Personal. People Think About Lots Of Different Things: Religious, Spiritual, And Moral Beliefs; Family And Personal Values; Desire; Love; And/Or Relationships. Whatever Your Reason Is, It's Important To Wait Until You're Sure You're Ready To Have Sex And The Best Time For That Is During Marriage On Your Marital Bed With Your Partner.
In My Counselling Career, I've Come Across Lots Of Teens Who've Had Sex That Says "They Wish They Had Waited".
If You’ve Already Started Having Sex And Want To Stop, That's Totally Okay, Just Because You've Had Sex Before Doesn't Mean You Have To Do It Again, And Just Because A Lot Of People Around You Are Doing It Doesn't Make It Right At All Time. People Can Be Sexually Abstinent (Not Have Sex) At Any Time, For Any Reason. And Some People Choose To Never Have Sex, That’s Totally Okay, Too.

CONCLUSION:
Try Not To Worry Too Much About What Other People Do. When You Lose Your Virginity Isn’t As Big A Deal As Making Sure You And Your Partner Are Ready For Sex. If You Have Sex Just To Fit In When You Aren't Married, It Probably Won’t Be A Very Good Experience Between You ,G Your Maker. It’s Better To Wait To Have Sex Until You Feel Totally Ready And Are Prepared For Some Of The Possible Consequences Of Sex Unwanted Pregnancy & Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Thanks for reading!!!

If this blessed you, share to bless others!!!

To read more from us, visit:

Www.drhezpey.wordPress.com

Www.abstinencetillmarriage.wordpress.com or

Www.godlyrelationshipadvocateministry.blogspot.com

For enquiries/counsellings/invitations/sponsorship/partnership:

07061522492 (WHATSAPP)

07079970736 (VOICE CALL)

© ODERINDE TAIWO JOEL
DR. HESPEY (2020)